Kyōka Suigetsu

2011-03-13T15:29:00.001+08:00

Don't say that you know me..seriously..because no one really knows what I want..

the carriage isn't kinda stable..

2010-12-03T23:58:00.002+08:00

Haven't really had the time to update this space lately and since I'm pretty free now, a little post won't be that hard to type out.
Somehow, I don't think I know what I really want. What I always thought was what I would become doesn't seem to be that clear anymore. There's a little nudging feeling whenever I witness such a happening, but I know I'm not capable of achieving it or rather, its possible but behind closed doors..
OR
I'm wrong? Should I say I'm curious? or I'm confused?
Right now, the left and the right doesn't seem to make much sense but I'm trying to figure it out..still a long way ahead, afterall, I have a lot of time..

weeks and boredom flies..

2010-11-06T17:09:00.002+08:00

4 weeks life in Specialist school started and now I'm left with another 4 more weeks before the foundation term ends. People say that army is the place where you'll find your best buddy or something..but it doesn't seem to be the case for me. Everyone in there knows each other, work with each other and get things moving..but from what I see, we're simply using each other to achieve whatever goals that we've set for ourselves. Like those who are still aiming to go officer command school or for those that simply wants to leech on others. I hate the leechers...screwed up low-life..totally no integrity, I DESPISE YOU! Oh well, 4 more weeks..there will be more SOC trainings, IPPT standards to hit, morning runs and field camps which I dislike. Suck it up for now. Can't wait for unit..or rather until I receive my rank.

Be it training or rotting about somewhere...time seems to just zip by and the worse part is that, there isn't anyone to rush thru those time with. Just aimlessly rotting..
And to think that you call people your good buddy when once they have a partner, you're off their radar? pfftt..totally dislike such ppl.
Sometimes I think that I'm meant to be alone..
Alright...time to edit my msn groups..

9 weeks and 1 year

2010-10-06T18:48:00.002+08:00

9 weeks n I'm done! time really flies when u're slogging ur guts out.
All the hard work and training finally paid off during the tossing of jockey cap. Its a moment of relief but again it means that there are more things to come. It's like the starting of everything else that is to come. Posting would be out come Friday 10am. Not really excited to know where I'm posted to. Either way spells trouble n fatigue! Not to forget people telling me that my face has been neglected. So with all the meet ups and dinner, my week is kinda occupied!
hmm, I don't like you, you and you or rather you're ungrateful brats. oh well, hopefully I won't be seeing you anytime soon. Juz live your arrogant live and stay away. so what if you're an all rounder, juz trying to look good, to impress but it failed! doesn't work on me. The likes of you disgust me.
Ahhhhh, so much better. =)

On another note..Clearly, my human mass storage device is functioning perfectly well when I dreamt about you one fine night. Saddening but it won't bring me down since I'm done looking back.
Those simple gestures that I laughed at, those eyes..not to forget the snugglings. Gonna have to search fo someone who would do them again. During the 24km march, it brought me to where we had our first outing wiu your friends, at ecp. of course I could remember everything clearly, simply smiled and march on. it was all 1 year back..oh well.

gtg, blogging on iPhone isn't very fun.

Surrounded by many but...

2010-09-18T00:46:00.002+08:00

So after 7 weeks, u see all the colors...
All kinda shit behavior..
effing irritating attitudes..
It didn't surprise me at all..
Usually, those who talk the most are the biggest hypocrite.
They bark only when they want to do something that benefit them..
and when it doesn't..they couldn't be bothered..
That's how selfish the world is..

Just two more weeks...can't wait to get my ass out of there..
Everyone...really...everyone of us are WAI-YANG kings..
in english, we're known as drama kings!
Of course I wear my mask everyday to host the masquerade party.
Just another 24km...
Another SOC..
Some more drills
and
I'll be done..

for now...
its better to be alone...

i'm counting..

Just like every other sundays..

2010-08-29T15:15:00.002+08:00

1hour and 30mins left before book in. Dreads..
That's life for the pass few weeks, late book outs, early book in. It ain't enough!
Time passes too quickly..its the start of the 5th week when monday arrives and that means, Sit Test for 3days 2 nights. Gonna be out in the forest feeding mozzies and trying to control a bunch of recruits. Hopefully, my sit test group would be a cooperative one. I wanna do well and head for OCS too!!
Just had range last friday and so far, I believe I've done well since everyone passed. Field camp ended on the 3rd week too. So what's left are Sit test which is tomorrow onwards till weds evening and Hand Grenade exercise the following week. Not to forget IPPT which I've no idea how I'm gonna survive..the timing and gradings are totally different from normal napfa test. How can my shuttle run be a 2 when I did a 5 during napfa trainings? And my 2.4 is a *shakes head* GOD GIVE ME WINGS TO FLY OR RUN PLEASE! ARgh!!!
Totally dreadful...just 5 more weeks! I'm still surviving, I'm still enduring....that's because I've 2 years to complete all this shit and wave bye bye!
Till next time..signing off!

BOOK OUT!

2010-08-13T12:31:00.003+08:00

2 weeks ago I left this tiny dot of Singapore to one of its smaller island, Pulau Tekong that is..and now, I'm home!
How fast is that? BMT is manageable so far..but I had to report sick 3 days before book out. Had high fever, dry cough and basically...upper respiratory infection.
Out until sunday, gotta report at Pasir Ris interchange by 1400hours..how early is that. DAmn..then its field camp for the whole of next week. Totally DREADING it! Don't know how to shit and not wash my ass, have camo on my face and not be able to wash it off, have perspiration dripping off from my helmet and messing up my spectacles, a few short hours of sleep and the constant wearing of the long 4.
God see me thru man..hopefully I recover by then.
But for now...
Its Happy Birthday to myself. 22years! How fast is that..gonna hit the 1/4 mark soon..scary!

Into The New World

2010-07-29T07:57:00.000+08:00

okay, so I forgot to blog in time. but I'll make it up with this short post. I'm off to tekong island which means that the start of my army days have just begun! OH man..god bless me.
Honestly, I'm feeling kinda scared and nervous now, is this a normal feeling for every boy that is headed to ns?
It's like starting to learn new things again, make new friends and a whole lot of survivor skills. argh!!! I'll come back with a better body!
So the last few weeks was fun!! meeting up with friends, friends I haven seen for awhile n my cousins too! Gonna miss you guys load! keep me in prayer!!
OKay! I gotta bathe! I'm typing this from the toilet on my iPhone! till next time, miss you guys!!!

Lines that crosses which never met..

2010-07-23T11:20:00.003+08:00

Why we met and pass by each other..
That I still can't understand..
Lines that cross each other before separating.
I shouldn't think..
Its something I wasn't meant to think about..
Just..forget it..
It was nice to see you again..
though..it was short..
a little unfamiliar now?
*
A little convo with my brother ytd...
me: I'm going for chalet this weekend..
bro: OOOHH!! no wonder somebody nv fight to use the car la...
------------------------------
Inside my mind I was thinking, even if I don't have chalet, what use would it be if I have the car but have no one to go out with? Still points back to doing nothing.
*
Someone once said this to me...
Haha, after 2 years, when you've finish NS, will you forget me?
I laughed and said: Of course won't forget la!
But now..it seems like the person who asked that would be doing the forgetting.
Maybe two people?

Everything in its time..

2010-07-21T12:26:00.003+08:00

Just another line that I came across while reading Peculiar Chris a week ago..

"We cannot and must not, he stressed, allow ourselves to be consigned to a subsidiary role; we cannot and must not, ever, be ashamed of who we are and what we believe in; we cannot and must not allow our dignity to be compromised."

Kinda true ya? It has left a mark in me...
Slowly..takes time. =)

Down that familiar road

2010-07-14T22:38:00.004+08:00

How long ago was that? Can't seem to recall now..
But as much as I tried to avoid that road,
I had to use it sooner or later.
And today happen to be the day..
It felt weird..
That bus stop..
That stretch of buildings..
The first met up..
Still pretty clear in my head..
Like it all happened yesterday.
Strange though, the feelings were pretty numb.
I'm hoping to see you soon...
Miss you..........
.......
.....
...
..
.
E..

The end

2010-07-10T20:55:00.002+08:00

The end of another chapter means the start of a new one. And that would probably be the life before NS. 21/6/10 was supposedly the end of my working contract in SGH business office but I decided to extend till the 9th of July. It was kinda fun working there, making new friends, new bonds, experience how it's like to see the various sort of crazy people. From the bosses to the execs and the other team players. Well, at least the majority of the youngsters were a fun and crazy bunch. Gonna meet them for chalet before I enter NS!
So yesterday was the last day of work and for some reasons, I feel kinda mixed. The feeling of leaving is great! But at the same time, leaving behind the friends that we'll only get to meet once in awhile when NS start would be kinda sad. Hopefully the NEL line of people stay together since we all leave a few twist and turns of the road away.

So what's gonna happen for the next 2.5 weeks is that, I'm gonna hit the gym and the pool to get back some shape/fitness, prepare my army stuff, meet up a few friends and just enjoy whatever remaining time I have left as a civilian. Not to forget, buying a few more things for my room.
Oh please go easy on me in the army! Don't come effing me all the way!

Reading Maurice has been kinda slow lately. Haven't had the time to read it properly and it isn't that exciting as compared to Chris. Gonna grab the other two copies of Johann S. Lee's novels this coming week. =)

So...i'll try to update more before going in! =)

Peculiar Chris

2010-07-05T21:19:00.002+08:00

Within a short span of one week, I purchased 2 books and completed one of it after 2 days. Now I'm actually kinda lazy to start on the second book though I'm already at the 4th or 5th chapter.
The first book titled: Peculiar Chris, was very captivating. Caught my attention for that short span of 2 days and send my emotions on a roller coaster ride. The author, a local guy now base in I think london? Ya..he's good! There's two more other book, one is a continuation titled: Quiet Time and the other is titled: To Know Where I'm Coming From.
All three books written by the author, Johann S Lee circles around the same topic. About a young boy growing up and realizing that he's queer. The story goes on through out the rest of his life, from how he met his first love to the death of his first partner before continuing on with his life after the demise.
So far, I've learnt quite a lot from the first book. =)

As for the 2nd novel that I bought, its titled: Maurice by E.M. Forster. While reading Peculiar Chris, Maurice was mentioned twice, so I became curious and decided to buy the book. I'll have to complete the book before I actually understand what it is all about. All I know is that, the content of the book circulates around a person call.......Maurice. haha! No prize for guessing that correctly.

A Quote from Peculiar Chris:

"We wear the mask that grins and lies, It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes, This debt we pay to human guile, With torn and bleeding heart we smile....."

It was actually a poem by Paul Laurence Dunbar.

The 1000th post

2010-06-09T20:51:00.002+08:00

Started back in end 2004, this blog finally sees 1000! I'll try to give as much updates as I can.

Holidays started way back at the start of CNY and not too long after, I landed with a job in SGH business office. Of course within the different months I went overseas and took leave once in awhile. *Note: I haven't been to the gym and have a proper workout for about 7 months!

Somehow I managed to complete Adidas Sundown 21km Marathon within 3hours and 11mins! Accomplishment! Feels good to complete a such a marathon! Nike Human Race is next! Hopefully I'll be able to attend it.

Work has been relaxing but yet frustrating at times. Like I said before, not everyone who works in a hospital means that they're clever or flexible. Lotsa examples from the workplace! I must said that there are a lot of eye candies too! My eyes are decaying badly. Gwaaahahaha! And after working for so long, I've extended my contract twice before finally settling for the 2nd of July as the last day. After that it would be a month worth of gym, swim-tanning and preparing for the long awaited ARMY! Come to think about it, kinda scary isn't it? How times passes so fast and life just feels meaningless! I haven't done anything worth mentioning or exciting..its been pretty dull ever since God knows when...

Well, at least the colleagues in office are a fun bunch! =) U know i'm talking about you guys! haha!

OH! I saw you too! Was so exciting! My legs went weak and my mind went blank! Pictures do you injustice! haha! Dreamy white! But again...it was just a walk by. haha!

*became bored while updating, because there isn't much to update about*

Hmm, sometimes I think I'm just plain stupid. I try for the impossibles. Knowing that a certain thing can't be mine, I still try so hard to impress. Like giving my best shot and every shit..but for what? Its a far fetched dream that isn't worth considering.. Usually people chase dreams or things that is within their grasp but I..am the opposite. PABO!

A meet up before entering Army, can I hold you to that? Its the only thing that I'm looking forward to..but at the same time..not want to. Because it would either means the last time before a long time..sigh..

There isn't room for any now..

Ruk Sarm Srao..

Blues

2010-05-31T22:12:00.001+08:00

hmm...wrong move again.

Fuck!

Sick and tired..

I'm not gonna talk!

a difference

2010-05-26T23:16:00.002+08:00

If my life was like a story book...

I would definitely rewrite the whole thing..

Things such as love, making the wrong mistakes..happy endings..

I would definitely change it..

This kinda love is too difficult for me to handle..I rather have the normal one..

So...can someone tell me why I'm still stuck in yesterday when its already a few years at the other end?

Beats me...

am I getting older?

2010-05-22T23:08:00.002+08:00

I've been thinking way ahead of the present..

Like what am I to do when I'm out of the army? Study or to work first?

Or do I head overseas to study?

Simply put, I'm worrying about my future. Isn't it a tad too early? Or its okay to think of such things now?

And what job would I take up in future? *of course a job that rolls in a fortune!*

What about my other half? Where am I to search from? *I dreamt about you not too long ago..makes me wonder again..*

Its all these things that make me feel as if I'm trying to grow up really fast..

Like who is so free to go think about all this kinda stuff when its not time yet?

Perhaps I'm too free? Actually..if I can type out this post, it means that I'm pretty free! And its a Saturday night! But I'm not out, no date as usual. Life isn't always a holiday. *Can I have more overseas holiday please!!! Just phuket or s.korea or anywhere that is nice!*

Work..........................

makes me fat..

makes me earn and spend more..

kills my social life..

made me miserable..*well, a bit.*

made me learn that there are all sorts of weird people in the world..

makes me think of what kinda job to work in future..

allows me to see eyecandies every once in awhile.

but...even with all those..

I still feel empty.

Like one huge whole in my soul..

or perhaps, it was the damaged that was left behind after everything had settled down?

Oh well...I'll talk about army soon!

Till next time....I LOVE MY OWN ROOM! =)

Now when you think about it..

2010-05-11T21:49:00.002+08:00

Its the usual routine of looking through profiles on FB when I actually came across this 1 profile.
Decided to click on it and look through the person's photo and it suddenly came across my mind, what if at that point of time, we had let things carried on?
What would things be like?
Of course I do remember what I dislike and the reason i left.
It wasn't like 2-3years back..it was around this time of the year that things happened.
Well...most of the things happened between april till end october last year.
Memories...they were left behind for a reason..
To build, to hurt and to remind.

Grey matters

2010-05-02T22:45:00.002+08:00

Its been bugging me for awhile..
Perhaps it had gotten worse after the trip?
There is a saying that goes, "the person with the most friends is actually the most lonely person."
But I beg to defer..
Because, it doesn't apply to me.
I'm picky, I choose who to be close to..
Lately there has been alot on my mind..
or maybe I'm over-reacting?
Either way..it was the wrong move..
I moved the wrong chess piece..
Now...I only wish I could flee as fast as I can..
Ever wonder who is around when u turn back?
For me..I thought that I have A to cover my back but oh well..A is simply too busy. Busy with what? I dunno. Skirts? trying to get a life? fark.. I'm only more of a " when i need u, i'll look for u" kinda person. Then there is B but B is too busy with work.Our timings are totally off..
Then there is C and D and E but none of them can be bothered..
So who actually cares?
Why do humans need to survive on love??

I make a wrong move..I shouldn't have done it. Now, I can only learn from such a mistakes. Why did I even take that move in the first place? FML..

the silly boy that can't forget..

2010-04-12T23:19:00.003+08:00

it was like a toy that I never had before.
and after having a chance to have it for a brief moment, he had it taken away, Now he's left wanting for more.
it's kinda cruel.
listening to that sad old sing still brings back lotsa memories. sweet ones..
seeing that photo made my heart twist, I could feel something thugging on my heartstrings.
the familiarity dies seem to fade
though it has been so long but memories are still intact.
maybe that's why I can't seem to open up again..
That little red thing that beats, think I left it behind.
a few years later when things are different..wat would it be like?
you know I'd give up the world to juz have that toy.
or maybe I'm juz one of cupid's game?

Nope, I haven't Blog..

2010-04-07T20:25:00.002+08:00

Cob webs, Rust, Moss, algae, you name it and this blog has it! I haven't blog for ages!! Sorry peeps, I've grew bored of blogging, its not the IN thing anymore. Besides, there is nothing interesting to write about. Its either work then home or work, gym then home. Its mundane! I need a new life style, I need new friends. When do the good looking peeps have good looking friends while the not so good looking have the not so good looking friends? Life is unfair!
So to make this entry even boring, I've been busy working and ya..working..its pretty much work and more work. No social life! Everyone is busy and my budget is pretty tight. I've 2 holiday trips coming up, one at the end of the month and another in May. I'm just gonna slip away without any notice! Ahaha, who bothers! Oh, my boss does but she has been informed!

It feels like I'm suddenly growing old. I wanna settle down, get my own apartment, live my own life, do things that grown ups do..but that is not gonna happen anytime soon. I'm only 21? oh..22 by the 8th month. But it would definitely be nice if I have my own place..though it would be my pocket that would be bleeding. See! I'm thinking like an old man..goodness! I want a dog too!! A japanese spitz or a Maltese or a west highland terrier. They make a perfect company! Humans are only here to break your heart...

So far, cupid hasn't drop by my place ever since he last gave me that heart breaker. Eye candies are plentiful but how do you get them?

Hmm...its only left with 8 more months and the year 2010 would be over...how fast is that. To think that I was watching fireworks and listening to christmas songs not too long ago. It all seems like yesterday! Time! You're damn scary! Please slow down!! Old man can't catch up!

xoxo

No man's land

2010-03-17T21:14:00.002+08:00

Can I have my own getaway?
I've having second thoughts..
But I can't be an ass to withdraw last minute..
Maybe I'm just tired..
Or maybe...
I'm just an ass..

Thoughts thoughts...they never seem to stop running about my head.
*frowns*
Oh Mr tears...
I'm not gonna let you come out.

Work work and candies!

2010-03-12T22:18:00.002+08:00

OKay, just a short post.

I've been busy working lately.

Office work is kinda fattening and boring.

Colleagues are interesting and fun to hang out with.

OT was part of the 1st two weeks but now with a new system I get to do lesser OT.

Disturbing each other seems to be the norm in office.

Food is a necessity when you're busy rushing out your work.

Sugarcane with lemon is what I have during lunch most of the time unless I choose to order tau hui.

Tiong Bahru market is where I have my lunch mostly unless my colleagues decide not.

There are candies on the way to work and sometimes at work.

Waking up at 6 is a must, catching the 7.05am bus is a MUST! like capital! emphasize..haha!

Facebook on iphone is a must have..

Twitter too!

Mobile iris helps me alot in the morning..

And I'm extremely tired lately.

Seems like I'm working very hard to raise a family when its actually just me.

And its USS tml! weeeee!!!!

A, B and C..

2010-02-23T22:50:00.002+08:00

If there wasn't A, there wouldn' be B.
And without B there wouldn't be C.
But...
Can I be greedy and say..
I'll take all of them?
Pfft...if only life was that simple.

WORK SUCKS!

I dream of you..

2010-02-19T16:08:00.002+08:00

It hasn't heal..
Just hidden, suppress to the back.
Giving up on hate is easier compared to love..
I dig my heart just to stop it from beating..
One week felt like one year..
strange isn't it?
or....
is it just me?
Was it the joy or the attention that woke my heart from its solitude?
Or is it the selfishness that stings?
If given the chance to ask one question,
it would be.....
Why did you bring me all the way up before letting go?

你还好吗?
我还想你。。。

Long Hiatus

2010-02-05T17:54:00.002+08:00

Okay, i know this space is dead for quite some time now. Been busy with the last few days of school and final year projects and new year clothes shopping!! So now that all those is done, I can finally breathe!
Its such a relief to end my fyp and not have to stress myself about it anymore. Of course there are other reasons to it such as, no more bo nao ppl! Bo nao - read as no brains in hokkien. Ya, and I've finished my last day of school today! 4 more test to go next week and I'm done! Then its graduate, hello phuket and hello army! Oh, hi to my part time job too, if i manage to get one. Sent in my resume to quite a few companies through jobsdb.
So with CNY coming and the whole unforeseen future, its pretty scary to me! Time passes like zoom zoom! Mazda's motto. haha! Its damn fast and I'm not even prepared. It seems as though I've many things to do, rushing about from places and doing things hurriedly. But somehow, I find myself not moving forward. Yes, I'm still stuck in that past where fairytales and happily ever after existed for a week. I'm silly..

Just watched a video on Ris Low giving a talk on safe sex. DAmn hilarious man! She had a hard time putting on the condoms. haha! And pronunciation was as usual, bad! Enjoy!!!

Safe Sex with Ris Low from clicknetwork on Vimeo.

2010-01-20T21:53:00.000+08:00

我为什么还爱你
为什么还想着你
不是我不放弃
是什么原因
你狠心把我丢在这里

The weekend getaway!

2010-01-18T22:37:00.004+08:00

This space is dead for a moment now. I shall revive it with what little magic that I possess!! With the start of school 3weeks back, and now there is only left with another 3 weeks of lesson, I'm pretty amazed at the speed of time. It simply zips by without giving me a moment to breathe and process all that has happen.

Neways, time to get on with my post. Was enjoying an island's life over at sentosa! To be more specific, RWS - Resort World Sentosa! It was pretty fun testing out the facilities and playing about the island. Most of the things aren't ready but at least the 4 hotels are functioning! Hotel Michael, Hard Rock Hotel, Festive Hotel and Crockfords Tower, they will have their soft launch soon! Working in the hotel line seems fun but yet scary to me. You gotta deal with crazy customers!

So on Sunday after check out, dumped the luggage into the car and headed off to play the Luge, skytower and Sky ride! Damn fun! Oh oh!! I played the Luge a total of 4 times! twice on Sat, twice on Sunday! Crazy right? Neways, it was damn cheap..like 2 rides for 10bucks! It is a package for the skyride and the luge. Going up was scary during the 1st two rides but on the 3rd and 4th ride, I was busy snapping photos and shaking my legs! Then there was the skytower! Or rather the tigerbeer tower! Entrance is free for island pass holder! So lucky my friends had it. And we visited the merlion too! Woohoo!! For the 1st time I'm proud to say that I've visited the tourist attraction spots in sentosa! Okay, minus the butterfly park, fort siloso and Images of Singapore. Too boring for me! hahah! shall let the pictures talk!

This was the view as the skyride brought us up to the top of the hill before we got unto the little cart that allows us to race down the hill, drift and cut pass the amateurs.

The view from the top of the sky tower! Damn nice! u can see most of Resort World, the beach too!

Grab a Caramel Macchiato from Coffee Bean while we headed towards the Merlion!

So this is the view from the Merlion head and mouth! Pretty isn't it?

ARgh!! I'm in holiday mood now!! Damn lazy to get my butt to school tomorrow..gotta go!

who said it was easy?

2010-01-05T22:47:00.001+08:00

No one said that talking to the ex was gonna be an easy thing to do. I'M FREAKING OUT HERE! Okay, that was uncalled for..
But yea, there's that weird air that surrounds every time I try to start a conversation going. Aren't I the most romantic hopeless fool? I think romeo lost to me!
And then again I think to myself, why do I wanna talk to that someone when I clearly know what the outcome would be? "Oh why bother, just talk, you won't die.." that's what I told myself. And once I said Hi, the jittery feeling came along with the full stop.
So like D said, why do I try so hard when its so obvious that the other party does not want to have anymore connections to do with the past? I must be stupid or blind probably?
So far, none of the conversations went pass an exchange of 5 sentences or should I say 3? Oh you fool..wake up!

Goodbye 2009..

2009-12-31T18:34:00.002+08:00

In probably 5-6 more hours and 2009 would be gone..Honestly, I'm scared of what it would be like to wake up tomorrow. The future ahead is pretty bleak like always..I'll be looking forward to my last 6 weeks of school though..at least I'll be occupied until Chinese New Year.
So its the eve of New Year...goodbye to the Ox and hello tiger? I'm alone again..as usual. Yes, there would be a family gathering for today and tomorrow, but isn't during such events that one feels even lonely? Another masquerade party for me I guess..

In three words, I can sum up everything I've learnt about life; It goes on. Quoted from Robert Frost.

Well, I agree with him. No matter how tough or how bad the going is, life still goes on. You either live with it or bury it somewhere and become stronger. Like how scars make a person stronger, experiences are suppose to make us strong too. But so far, why haven't I gotten over you and become stronger? We had such a rare connection but it was gone that easily..some sick twisted joke from above? If yes, thanks for putting me through such shit..I didn't deserve to have my heart broken so many times within a year.
I'll have to wait another few years to find love again I guess? Sigh..nightfalls..

Human flaws and the year..

2009-12-28T00:39:00.003+08:00

Its tiring..I admit it is..
Sometimes I paint it out but at times, I just hold it in..
After all, who's the host of the masquerade?
Humans are full of flaws..
Can't believe how sensitive one can be...
Just one word short...
One word wrong..
The wrong move and they can't take it..
Isn't life too boring if we can't bend our backs and be flexible?

So this year is coming to an end..it started off when? Seems like yesterday..
Somehow I could still remember everything clearly..
Like a tape that is on playback..
New things have been learn..
Entered dark waters and survived..
Had an experience being overseas, flying from one state to another..
Meeting people that I've never meant before..
Doing things that I least imagine..
Understanding certain terms and words to a deeper level.
Found love..
only to find that its gone in the next moment..
To sum it up..
Its a whirlwind year...
Everything came back so fast, so forceful...
some ripped things apart...
some taught me lessons..
Imagine.....
you got over the 1st setback..stood back up on your feets..walked a few steps..
Next thing you know..landed hard on your butt with nothing to soften the impact.

What would 2010 bring?
Would it still be the same me?
Would things change?
How will I cope with the changes?
Will it be better to leave things that are meant to stay in 2009 behind? Or what?
Sigh..its torn again..
Tissue won't fix it back..
The amount of stitches...
the amount of tears won't bring anything back..
I'm just a wasted fool..

To a lost love...
Goodbye..

It isn't Christmas..

2009-12-26T12:03:00.002+08:00

There is a song that goes: "Christmas, Isn't Christmas till it happens in your heart.."
Some would agree with the sentence while some would sigh in dismay..
As for me, I fall under the sighing category.
There's nothing going on in my heart.
It came and it left, devastating was the effect..
Until today, I'm still left to pick up the pieces left behind..
Santa didn't deliver any gifts to me this year, or should I say..
He hasn't been dropping me any gifts for years?
Just another season that has come and pass..
What will next year be??

Bogoshipo..
(보고 싶어)

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T01:56:00.001+08:00

Merry Christmas....

love...

misses you badly..

=(

2009-12-23T12:24:00.001+08:00

How do you pick up the threads of an old life?
How do u go on?
When in your heart, you begin to understand, there is no going back.
There are some things that time cannot mend.
There is some hurt that have grown too deep, that has taken hold.

What lies behind that mask?

2009-12-19T18:07:00.002+08:00

So the festive season is just a few days from now, Christmas followed by New year, how fast is that? Y asked whether I'm excited that Christmas is next week. Well, honestly, there's nothing to be excited about..it has never been exciting ever since a few years back.
Just how interesting can it get? I see the same gifts, attend the same event, it has become mundane. To me, its just another public holiday that falls within my school hols. New year is pretty much the same, the same house, the same people, that same old thoughts and feelings. There's nothing to excite my senses.
A couple of months back, I thought to myself that this year end would be different from the rest, but I shouldn't have said that too early. There's a saying that goes, don't count the amount of chickens before the eggs hatch. Well, I learnt it the hard way as usual..I touch and I was burnt.
I've been misunderstood quite a lot lately. The worse is that, people whom you think would understand. At first, frustration kicks in, followed by anger but now..its like, na..forget it..they don't understand me. No one does..have been that way for a period of time..
I wish I had the answers to everything unsolved..everything that is left dangling.

我还放不下你。还以为过了一段时间，感情会慢慢地消失，脑海中的记忆变模糊。。可是我错了。
好像问候你最近还好吗？但是每一次我想开口问，会有一种感觉你不会回答我。已经过了这么多星期了，连一句你好吗都没收到。朋友不想朋友。。
每次觉得孤独的时候，我就会怪你。因为你闯进我的世界让我感觉到爱然后丢下我一个人，人影都消失了。现在我恢复不了以前的生活，不懂得怎么继续下去。心里还是一句好想你。。。嗨。。又多一年自己过圣诞节，一个人在12月31日过新年看烟花。如果能许愿的话，我会请求圣诞老人把爱抱起来送给我。

The world don't get it..

2009-12-12T00:28:00.000+08:00

I just need some alone time..the world hasn't been kind lately and I'm tired of everything. Lately nothing seems to be right, just wrong wrong wrong and more wrongs..i dunno how much more i can take. My soul is weary, my mind is exhausted and my heart aches. Someone show me the escape route please? This is getting crazy. There's no Blair or Serena at all..this illusion has to end..i can't go on like this, its tormenting me! Someone or something! Anything!! Just get me out of this mess..

Sorry sorry - Answer

2009-12-11T13:42:00.001+08:00

How cruel this world is..
You spin around just to find that there is no one beside you..
Sigh..
you're gone
but
I'm still here..

and the lyrics go..

I want you like crazy
I can't go a day without you, oh baby
I hold you in my arms
My heart still beats for that love
I'm suffocating more and more
I think I'll die like this
I want you, baby

You're so, so beautiful
I'm entranced by your appearance
I'm entranced
I'm captured by your gaze
I can't turn my head around either
I'm a fool

My heart feels like it will burst
When I hold onto your hand and we kiss
Only that girl can be my owner
I'm a slave for you

*Sorry sorry sorry sorry
I I I first
Fell for you you you
Fell fell fell baby

Shawty shawty shawty shawty
My eyes are blinded, blinded, blinded
My breath is stifled, stifled, stifled
I'm going crazy, crazy, baby (x2)

Nan nan nananana nanana
Nanan nanana nanan nananna (lalalala)
Nan nan nananana nanana
Nanan nanana nanannananna nananna

Sorry Sorry - Answer...

haiz...

我搞不懂

2009-12-05T13:17:00.000+08:00

真的没心情做事，不知该怎么做使自己开心。。
想出门但是该去哪儿。。满脑直想着你一个。。
叫我忘了你，我真的办不到。。
所有的方法我都试过了但是我最后还是哭了。。
嗨。。
朋友不像朋友反而像陌生人。。
阿沁唱的：“其实还爱你” 一直重复在我脑海里。。。
听了之后更难过。。
其中一句是：其实我非常爱你，不想失去你。
我真的不想失去你。。。但是看着现在的情况。。中算是失去你了。。
还有另一句是：我多么渴望能够抓住你的心。
嗨。。
命运在玩弄我吧？不想回去的地方偏偏会有人或节目使我回到那个地方。
我的心承受不了。。但是我还得保持微笑假装一切很好。
S.H.E的一首歌：天灰，歌词里有一句是：如果你从没有出现，我会不会觉得快乐一些？
再下几句就是：

想念变成怀念
心动变成心碎

我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
所有的灯早已经全都熄灭。

嗨。。。该往哪一方向走呢？

真的是你吗再眼前熟悉的面孔
我有点不敢相信仿佛这就只是一场幻想的梦
如果此刻真的在梦中心就不会那麽痛
可是我宁愿这就是梦不要醒来

真的是你吗在眼前熟悉的面孔
我好想有一种冲动
想紧紧地把你抱在我怀中
就算是梦我会祈求夜空天亮再晚一秒钟
让我讲完想对你说的话

漫漫长夜一个人望著星空寂寞地歌唱
没有你的小屋盛著我的孤独感觉都一样
一条单行线一次交错的爱一道深深的伤
望著背影消失在人海如何释怀

你的背影已经消失在人海
我的手却还是放不开
把这道深深的伤害忘怀

final dance..

2009-12-03T23:08:00.000+08:00

It took about 4 years to forget one and find another...now it seems like another 4 years will be heading towards my way.

我也很希望我的命就会像电视剧一样。多希望生命中也有一个幸运王子/公主那一类。要怎么度过未来这一段日子呢？不知哪儿出错，也不知为何会有着一种下场。感觉是真的。。可惜没有回报。眼泪都干了，答案也拥有了但是我还是放不下心情。脑袋中有一句话，傻瓜！醒来吧！忘了他吧，放了爱吧。。
嗨。。能看你最后一次不知该开心或难过。多想抓住你不放，可惜你的心已不再。。怎么抓也没用。。可不可以任性，求求你不要去？
嗨。。。要怎么把你给忘掉呢？记忆是永远的，怎么忘都忘不了。
谢谢你再那一段日子倍我，谢谢你的温柔。。

A little thought..

2009-12-03T12:09:00.000+08:00

The worst feeling in the world is giving all the love you have
And knowing it will never be returned
Therefore it's hard to love someone because
You're so afraid of losing them

The world don't get it.

2009-11-20T23:20:00.000+08:00

ITS THE WEEKENDS!!!! again...sigh. Looks like its gonna be another boring one. Well at least there is a birthday event instead of staying home. Hmm..so I should be rejoicing? zzzz...
So 3 more weeks of school before its xmas holidays, should I be looking forward to it? I'm still thinking about the gifts, it would probably be a simple one this year. So school has been.....boring as usual but I'm glad that the modules for the final semester is so much easier! Less maths, more brains, more science, more Wikipedia-ing! Everything can be found just by wiki-ing, that's how I survive my 3 years of tertiary level. LOL!
Cut my hair again..not as short as the last time, just a simple trim so that I can style it instead of having to fret over what I should do with it every morning.
Somehow, I've developed some skin allergy or rashes on my neck. Its not a lot but just two patches which seems to have gotten better. With such crazy weather to endure every day, I'm not surprise to have fallen sick. Oh well..just a slight cough..throat irritation. Can't kill me. It takes something else to kill me.
Hmm, mundane...

So the world simply don't get it. I can understand why...they're simply not like me..or should I say..they don't know me? Have you ever be in a situation whereby you wanna say something out loud but you can't? Because if you were to do so, certain things will happen? a different set of lights would be on you and everything would simply go out of hand? So...its like you're masking yourself everyday! Its a daily masquerade! The difference is that, the mask is invisible, no one sees it and so...they won't understand! I just wish they could shut up at times, quite irritating with all the labels and what nots. Go bore someone else with your insanity and childishness. I've no time to entertain. Just shut up and be gone! That certain breed is getting on my nerves..everywhere! They are like everywhere!! And they create so much problems. I must admit that they haven't been in my good books lately or..for quite some time? Bothersome..
Tick tack tick tack..oh mr clock..please speed through time and bring me to a certain date! I wanna settle things fast...the wait is killing me! The joke must be on me if not things wouldn't be like that. This fantasy call fate is taking its toll on me..
For now..enjoy the lady. Love this song!

I want your loving,
I want your revenge,
you and me could write a bad romance.

I want your love
And I want your revenge
I want your love
I don't wanna be friends.

Still..

2009-11-11T21:55:00.001+08:00

My heart skips a beat whenever I look at the photos.
It simply takes my breath away.
Still stuck in transition.
The first few encounters,
felt like yesterday
and I remember it clearly.
Still makes me smile and cry.
The first time you held my hand,
I laughed. Silly me.
Perhaps I should have held on a little longer..

And the first time you lean against my shoulders,
I should have wrapped my arms around and hold you closer..
And now..
I wish that I could stay in your eyes a little longer..
Given a second chance,
I would do all those things again,
but this time, I won't hold back my feelings..
What do I do?
I'm not over you...

If only you know. =(

That's Why (You Go Away)

2009-11-08T21:55:00.000+08:00

Exactly how i feel...

That's Why(You Go Away)
By: Michael Learns To Rock

Baby won't you tell me why there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
But there is something left in my head

You're the one who set it up now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
But there is something left in my head

Chorus:
I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know

You were never satisfied no matter how I tried
Now you wanna say goodbye to me
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
There is something left in my head

Chorus

Yes i know

Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere
Don't know which way to go
There ain't so much to say now between us
There ain't so much for you
There ain't so much for me anymore

Chorus

That's why you go away I know

What If

2009-11-04T19:43:00.000+08:00

Found this song in the midst of all the other songs in my music library. I've heard it before and loved it. Now, I'm gonna share it with you because its kinda meaningful.

What If
By Kate Winslet

Here I stand alone with this weight upon my heart and it will not go away
In my head I keep on looking back
Right back to the start
Wondering what it was that made you change

Well I tried but I had to draw the line
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time but I guess we'll never know

Many roads to take
Some to joy
Some to heartache
Anyone can lose their way
And if I said that we could turn it back
Right back to the start 
Would you take the chance and make the change

Do you think how it would have been sometimes
Do you pray that I'd never left your side?

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time but I guess we'll never know

If only we could turn the hands of time
If I could take it back would you still be mine?

'Cause I tried but I had to draw the line
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
What if I had never walked away 
'Cause I still love you more than I can say
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time but I guess we'll never know
We'll never know...

Isn't it true? what if we had held on, what if we tried? Everything is what if and never able to come true..once its gone its gone..there wouldn't be a second time, unless thru some miracle. Of course I wish time could turn back, turn itself back to those days..where everything was just you and me. I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss you at all because every single day, every morning, the first thing on my mind would be you. Even when my mind is occupied with school work, your name pops up, your image steals my concentration and you seem to be everywhere! At least..in my mind. Sigh..I just wonder why...what caused the change..somehow I believe that there is a main reason behind the 3 you gave..Though the pain isn't as bad as the past few weeks, but still..the wound hurts, the memories sting and I still miss you..I can't go on being like this, its tormenting my soul, but I can't break free! I'm two legs in and drowning..what if I need you, would you save me?

If only you know..

2009-11-03T19:18:00.000+08:00

Found this meaningful post from a friend's blog post, so i decided to blog about it too. Of course, I edited here and there.
And I must say that its kinda funny when you think back about all the smses you send, or at least the way you sent them. Most of the points below definitely happen a couple of times while you're texting, so its not surprising!

1. 当你收到“你干嘛呢？”实际是想说“我想你了”。
1. When you receive "What are you doing?". But actually he is trying to say "I miss you!"

2. 当你收到“呵呵”，多是没笑或者傻笑。
2. When you receive "hehe". Majority means he is not smiling or giggle.

3. 但如果是“哈哈”或者“嘿嘿”，这时你打过去一定是在笑。
3. But if you receive "haha" or "heihei", It means he is laughing when he typed it.

4. 说你“傻瓜”或者“笨蛋”其实是关心你，担心你，希望你照顾好自己。
4. When he say "silly" or "stupid". Actually he is caring and worrying about you, hope you take care yourself.

5. 如果是问句结束，其实是希望能和你多聊一会儿。
5. If the sentence end with a question mark, it means he wish to chat more with you.

6. “哦”多半是在敷衍。
6. If he answer "oh". Most of the time its just for entertaining sake.

7. 但如果是“知道啦”，“收到”，“遵命”之类的则表示比较在意。
7. But if he answer "I know le", "get it", "yes sir" and so on, it actually means he cares.

8. 有时劝你忙自己的，其实他是口是心非。
8. Sometime when he ask you to get busy with your work and leave him be, he does not really mean it.

9. 把他的傻事，丢面的或失落的事告诉你，是希望你安慰他，开导他，甚至骂骂他。
9. Telling you all the silly things, shameful things that he did, actually he hope you to comfort him, or even scold him.

10. 主动发信息给你，说明你在他心目中有一定的分量，一般人不喜欢和不在意的人罗嗦。
10. Text you actively, means you are important to him, normally people won't talk much to people that they don't care about.

11. 如果给你起外号，是希望你可以记住他多一点。
11. If he give you a nickname, means he hope you remember him more.

12. “我刚到”，“我已经到家咯”说明进屋第一个想到的是你。
12. "I just reach", "I reach home le" shows that once he reach home, the first person in his mind is you.

13. “你到家了就告诉我一声”，“你到家了没啊？”意思是我要你平安到家，不许你有事。
13. "Tell me when you reach home", "Have you reach home?" means he want you to be safe and not get into any trouble.

14. 有时不会那么巧就发错给你，可能是他想发给你又实在没东西发，虽然这样很愚蠢。
14. There will never be an action called accidentally sent, maybe he wish to send something to you but don't know what to say. Although it is silly.

15. 收到“转发2人会幸福哦”，是他觉得这条短信很有意思，但是不忍心让你转发给10人，就偷偷把10改成了2。
15. Change to "forward to 2persons will get happiness", means he felt that this message is meaningful, but don't want you waste money to send to 10 persons, so he change to 2 instead of 10.

16. 凡是那种“不转发就会不幸”咒语性质的，他不是没有收到过，但是绝不会转发给你.
16. Those message says "if don't forward you will get curse.", it doesn't mean he won't receive this kind of message if he don't send you, just he will never forward to you.

17. 有一阵你没有收到过他的短信，但不表示他草稿箱里没有。
17. If he didn't text you for sometime, it doesn't means his draft box is empty.

18. 如果可能，他晚上不关机就是因为你。
18. It is possible that at night he doesn't switch off the phone because of you.

But somehow now, I'm sighing..

JoJo

2009-11-01T22:07:00.000+08:00

English Translation
JoJo
By SHINee

I know that
( My baby, I love you)
I gotta get over you
That’s right, that’s right
( My heart)

Look, just look at that look
She’s almost like me, saying how it’s easy to forget
I don’t want to believe it
(Oh ah) A restless night
I’m so sick of my head hurting
I get on my knees,
Hit my chest, and even if I cry,
Can something that can’t be done be done?

JoJo! When the sad music flows
I think of you (Eh eh eh)
JoJo! Why can’t I erase
A heartless you (Oh oh oh)

(Hey) My JoJo! (Love) Yes JoJo!
Stay! What did I do wrong? I, I was blind
(Hey) My JoJo! (Love) Yes JoJo!
Stay! I get trampled by both of your eyes
I, I was blind

So many nights, I wonder why
What can I do to make it right?
Everything will be all right
So JoJo, just tell me why

I don’t want to cry (Oh, ah)
My abandoned heart gets scratched deeply
I’m so sick of my head hurting

JoJo! When this bitter music stops
I want to send you away (Eh eh eh)
JoJo! Why can’t I, why can’t I
Erase a heartless you (Oh oh oh)

(Hey) My JoJo! (Love) Yes JoJo!
Stay! What did I do wrong? I, I was blind
(Hey) My JoJo! (Love) Yes JoJo!
Stay! I don’t know y-yet

Baby JoJo, do you know?
The heart here is also cold!
Baby, baby, why did you leave?
I cry and become exhausted
Waking up from a dream

JoJo! When the sad music flows
I think of you (Eh eh eh)
JoJo! Why can’t I erase
A heartless you (Oh oh oh)

JoJo! When this bitter music stops
I want to send you away (Eh eh eh)
JoJo! Why can’t I, why can’t I

Erase a heartless you (Oh oh oh)

(Hey) My JoJo! (Love) Yes JoJo!
Stay! What did I do wrong? I, I was blind
(Hey) My JoJo! (Love) Yes JoJo!
Stay! I get trampled by both of your eyes
I, I was blind

Sigh =(

2009-10-29T21:39:00.000+08:00

I found myself smiling at the laptop screen again..and after that, I realize how lonely and quiet things were. Well, I was smiling at a certain character from a certain show, because of the resemblances...sigh.
Too many wishes and if only makes life difficult to live. Waking up every morning after a terrible night of sleep and subconscious dreaming is extremely taxing. I wake up feeling like crap every morning and there are days that I just feel like hiding under the covers, they seem to block out the world pretty well. But once I'm awake, trying to fall asleep again is pretty tough, don't know why, somehow my sleeping habits have change yet again..
I wonder how long its gonna take to fill up the empty space left behind..
My mind still wonders here and there,
and everything around me seems to shout the same thing over and over again.
Have I gone crazy?
Probably yes..but its not mentally insane, more like head over heels.
Even so...I doubt its of any use..you're different..
What I've been doing doesn't seem to work like how it did in the past,
ARGH!!! Frustrating..
Can I just close my eyes and wish that every moment was like then?
Because once the dream ends and I'm awake,
reality seems to kick in..
the dreams fade..
we fade..
but the memories are still intact..
sigh..can I have just one last wish?

2009-10-27T23:01:00.000+08:00

Those who live in reality wish they could be in a fantasy while those in fantasy wish to live in reality. How ironical is that? Whichever path you take, they each have their own pros and cons, but people tend to look at the greener side because its what they usually long for. Once in it, they start to dislike it and wishes things to be back to how it was. Afterall, we're humans.
So I've been trying hard, occupying my mind with whatever I can lay my hands on, but the distractions seem to fail badly. Somehow, those memories will find their way back, like tiny holes in the membranes...they just manage to slip their way through. Spacing out has become part of my daily life, insomnia caught up, reality dreams are kickass! I never know my subconsciousness could be that powerful, linking what's real to my dreams. So I guess, not every dream has a happily ever after sort of ending. Who said that fairytales are real? They were meant to be used as decoys for little kids to sleep and have sweet dreams.
I find myself smiling at the laptop screen lately, that's because I've decided to re-watch Boys Over Flower again or whatever show it is that makes me smile. But its cruel and lonely..once the smile fades, the feeling that lingers at the bad stings! Worse then that of a bee's..you find yourself comparing reality and dramas, how you wish you were like that character, how you wish this and that, ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Painful..I agree.
Sigh...so now the question boils down to, is everything worth it? Or I should just give it up? I only know my heart keeps shouting, 我不甘心！这四个字一直在我脑海里。所以，我该怎么办才好？

What Do I Do?

2009-10-26T20:22:00.000+08:00

You ask me how my day was, as if its the same everyday.
I say that I'm okay but you don't really know how I feel.
Do you think I'll be okay without you?
Will you be okay without me?
It is really hard to live in this world without you.
That is why I blame myself for still breathing.
Do we not have another chance?
I still think about you.
But you probably don't know that.
Is this finally it?
Are we going to end like this?
Is this fine with you?
I don't think that I can make it..
The love that I found by meeting you,
I won't find it anywhere else given if I die.
What do i do?
If my heart isn't yours,
then there's no one who can hold it.
Please, hold onto me.
You know that no matter how much I try, I can't erase you
Please hold onto me.
What do I do?
Even now, I live each day broken by your single word.
Tell me,
If being like this is wrong.
Like me, are you living each day in pain?
Tell me,
You and me,
Is it already too late?
Do we not have another chance?

2009-10-25T16:37:00.000+08:00

一天过一天
明天再见这是你每次说的
一直都没有改变
你的无奈
我知道你的心已不再..放开
这是最好的决定

你的爱已不在
我为什么还在这发呆

我为什么还爱你
为什么还想着你
不是我不放弃
是什么原因
你狠心把我丢在这里

手机静了几天
我也慢慢的静了。
你的影子也不见了
但是我还在这里傻傻的等着。。
我们之间发生了什么事？
是我错了吗？
还是你的心已不再？
想你想到哭了，
哭了累了。
可是我的心还放不下你。。
回来好吗？
从新再来好吗？
我不甘心就这样结束。
是谁叫我敢敢是爱？
是谁给我勇气恋爱？
那个人已经离我远远了，
但是我还在等待。
我会等到一天你回来，
但是别让我等太久，
因为我也是人，
我也需要爱，
我的心也会冻结。。
我好怀念你，
你呢？

Should I Stay

2009-10-23T00:27:00.000+08:00

Hmm, I know I have posted this song many time, but it has a lot of meaning whenever I listen to it. Yup, this time round, Its for you...So, do read the lyrics ya? Especially the coloured ones..

Should I Stay
By Dreamz FM

Had a drive
Driven by your love
But when you messed around
I lost the drive I found

Thought you needed
Needed someone true
But you changed your mind
Or had I failed you?

Wish you’d been 
Careful with my heart
But you tore it apart
And broke an angel’s heart

The kiss was true
Has to end somehow
But I am livin’ proof of what love is about

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true 
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

You played me on
Played me like a clown
But I feel for you
Even though I’m down

My heart is heavy
Heavy like a rock
But I am so amused
You’re still in my thoughts

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

Oooohh…should I stay?
Should I go?

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true 
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I wanna know
Should I stay or should I…?

This time its done
It’ll never feel the same
But we had some good times
Guess it’s sad just the same

I guess the truth
Doesn’t matter somehow
But you were livin’ proof of what love is about…

yea...guess that's why I love this song..it speaks a lot!

Drowning

2009-10-21T19:50:00.000+08:00

My thoughts are racing around my mind, faster than the fastest car, louder than any rocket taking off. I just wanna be alone, I don't wish to go anywhere. I can't breathe. Somehow this feeling is worse, I thought I could handle it since it happened once in the past but I can't! I always fall for the wrong thing, wrong time, wrong place. Falling is painful. I wonder what will happen if this continues, as if the ice palace isn't cold enough, must it turn into a shell? Clamp everything in. I just want one moment, just that moment, turn back time, let me stay there please..I can't delude myself any further, its not working, however I try to bluff myself, it still fails. The delete button is malfunctioning, the recycle bin is full, everything is overloaded.

On another note, however cheery it may sound....I've finally got the 3rd mini album of SHINee, Year. Of Us. Most of the songs are great!! Mix of ballads and maybe contemporary music? ya..my favourite is a song call, The Name I Love The Most. The vocals and the rhythm is just great! Jojo is not bad too. Ring Ding Dong is loud and noisy. Not really my kinda song but the MV is damn nice! yea..okay..I'm done promoting.

*please stay clear of me this few weeks, if u have nothing better to say to me then you better keep it to yourself. I'll probably kill anyone who gets in my way. Hmm, thanks for asking whether I'm okay or not. My nonchalant reply would end up pissing people off. I'm sorry for being like that...just give me some months ya? Don't say I didn't post a warning.

DEREK ISN'T IN THE MOOD TO PLAY. sigh..misses E.

all my life..

2009-10-20T22:30:00.000+08:00

I've waited all my life, most of it and when I thought I finally found it, it flew off too quickly. It felt like my hand touched it, but it wasn't enough to grab hold of it, my fingers didn't manage to wrap around it fast enough. And now I'm back to the start. Of course this time, the feeling is different. After you had a taste of heaven, falling back to earth is painful. The feel and the pain from falling is excruciating. It bleed shades of red. So now, I'm waiting again, for that something, when will it ever come back to me. I ought to be happy when others have it but instead I was feeling kinda upset, its like salt to an open wound. But this wound has already been there for a week so it doesn't hurt much, just a sting or maybe pinch? What I wanna say is already typed out and sent, its up to the recipient to see what's next.

我放不过我自己
wo fang bu guo wo zhi ji
转一圈回到了原地
zhuan yi quan hui dao le yuan di
眼泪是一种提醒
yan lei shi yi zong ti xin
我还爱你
wo hai ai ni
让一切归零
rang yi jie gui ling.

If others can do it, I don't see why I can't..
I have the determination,
but not the replies..

And now I know..its not gonna return...

sayonara bb..

一样的月光

2009-10-16T22:37:00.000+08:00

Was listening to the two songs that you sent me by 徐佳莹. One made me cry, the other make me wonder more. But nonetheless, both songs brought about some sort of bittersweet feeling. For now, there is only one place I wish to go. Care to join me? =)

misses alot!!
xoxo

一样的月光
已经照不亮未来的形状
喔能回来吗我的爱
让疯狂的爱情占据我的窗

谁该爱我

2009-10-15T18:06:00.000+08:00

听着自己的心跳
没有规则的跳跃
我安静的在思考
并不想被谁打扰
我们曾紧紧拥抱
却又轻易地放掉
这种感觉很微妙
该怎麽说才好
时间分割成对角
停止你对我的好
瓦解我们的依靠
在你离开之后的天空
我像风筝寻一个梦
雨后的天空
是否有放晴后的面容
我静静的望着天空
试着寻找失落的感动
只能用笑容
期待着雨过天晴的彩虹
-------------------------------------------------

明明曾和我爱到有点疯癫
刚别过回头已致电
直到了今天没见面
你相信被谁骗
谁立心想迫我怕睡眠
-------------------------------------------------

不为我久留爱着的你像风
我坚持不走非要等个结果
就算我再一次错过天长地久
我的眼里有太多
你读不懂得难过

谁~该~爱~我~
是谁愿施舍我
爱是滋味让我隔空尝一口
好久不再有
你~该~爱~我~
我还在为你守侯
明明从来都没离开过
怎忘了还有我

-------------------------------------------------

别握住我的手
说我一定会懂
作不成的爱人
变成最好朋友

Sigh..that 180degrees turn is too fast..i can't take it. I'm feeling tormented..please, just once? just one chance, we'll find a way..

Day 3 and counting.

2009-10-13T17:44:00.000+08:00

Its the third day by now, I'm feeling numb. School was long as usual, every tuesday is gonna be a long day of lesson. Time went by extremely slow, I'm dying to have it end now but that's impossible. There's wednesday, thursday and friday before saturday rounds up everything. Its torture. I was dragging my legs everywhere today, I'm having difficulty walking thanks to last night jog. It feels as though my legs are gonna fall apart any moment or I might just tumble down like the last time. But its not so bad, I can still hold myself even though the aching sensation is there.
Half of the time I caught doing nothing, wondering in thin air, looking at the phone that's ever so quiet and not to forget, music. All the signs point towards the same direction, to wait, to look for that sun behind every storm. Wait and you'll be rewarded sooner or later. How soon is soon? or how late will later be? Zach gave me advice too, for now, just wait but don't lock yourself away from the world. And now I roughly guess the status of myself. I shall keep it private. =)

Here's some lyrics for the day.

Cause you're everywhere to me!
When I close my eyes its you I see.

爱不爱我你都懒得回答

gotta go out for dinner! see ya..

The good, the bad and the unknown..

2009-10-11T16:16:00.000+08:00

Its awfully quiet and I hate it. Well, I'm suppose to be used to the quietness since 1 week back but things changed and I sort of love the fact that noise and buzz were everywhere around, like every second a buzz. Now I only have 3 by Britney to accompany me. Its the only noise I hear. Argh!! I gotta pull the STOP button in my brains somewhere, my mind is gonna drive me nuts soon. And I need some painkillers to numb that aching feeling in between my chest. Some cold/flu relief tablet for my nose which started to run once I came home at 3+. Think the lack of sleep has triggered the sinus and lotsa volcanic eruptions across my face!! Zits yes..zits! But I guess it was worth it? or was it not? Now I wonder...

*the author can't complete the post as he is no longer in the mood to blog.*

*continues on 12oct 2009*

Its worse than the previous drug that I've took. The withdrawal effects are adverse, the swings are crazy, every moment on edge. I wonder how much longer can my heart take it, my mind is racing, time is killing, distance is suffocating, the wait is driving me nuts. I wish I could just jump into the car now and drive down to tpy. I lied, I can't take it! But they say its better to wait, look for the sun that comes out after every storm, I'M TRYING MY BEST!
I gave someone a piece of my wrath not too long ago. I couldn't take it, I snapped and I took half a dinner. Gonna go out for a jog to clear my mind later.
Everything reminds me of the moments. Every turn, every object, every touch...I just miss it! I want it back..I must have taken those days are granted, thinking that its happy ever after when it was just the start of everything else that is to come. How naive of me. Its my first time after all. I'm still not sure how to act, how to respond or how to care less. But its just me! I'm being myself. I try to occupy my mind with other things but even school work failed to distract me, cutting my hair was just a release of my frustration but it didn't help much. At least I'm satisfied with my new hair style. Its shorter than the last hair style.
I wish someone could tell me what to do now, like give me a sign or a direction! Anything! Just something please!!! Its not good to keep my mind empty, thoughts are forming rapidly, what if and what not, will it happen? what's next? where's elm? I miss that familiar scent. ARGH!!! I'm practically going nuts. Twilight series isn't helping, I'm feeling worse then Bella. I call out bb but I hear nothing in response other then the echo that bounces about my mind.
The songs aren't helping either, Britney is doing her best with 3 and circus remix. Genie, Gee, Juliette, Sorry Sorry, its not helping! This week just end faster please..
Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

Cause maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one.

Is there some sort of divine intervention that can rid my mind from thinking, heart from wrenching and time to quicken? ARGH!!!!
Now all I have is just pictures...

Insurances

2009-10-11T00:15:00.000+08:00

So when you take any mode of transportation, be it a plane, a boat or even a car, there is definitely something to save you in an emergency. In a plane, there would be life vast in case the plane were to crash line in the sea, the boat has life boats/ life jackets while the car has SRS airbags. So everything has a preventive measure for it but what about freefall?
Look like someone is gonna need a parachute a little too soon!

xoxo

Let me sleep for awhile
Let me dream of your smile
In my dreams I'm with you.

Smile

2009-10-07T19:59:00.000+08:00

Lately things have been looking great! Just wanna share this one song! =)

Smile
By: Uncle Kracker

You´re better then the best
I´m lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow that´s right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me
Lets me know that it´s ok yeah it´s ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile

Even when you´re gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile

Don´t know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile

Mid Autumn Festival with surprises!

2009-10-05T21:07:00.000+08:00

I can breathe at last! The weekends had been extremely interesting! Not because it Mid Autumn festival but rather, I made more friends! ahaha! Let's just skip friday and move on to saturday morning!

3rd Sept 2009

Woke up very early say around 7am? Had to go over to Tomsum's place to drive jie sharon and gil for cookies baking class! I join in too! But first, they went to grab breakfast as they haven't had it. The road condition was quite okay, other than that mini traffic jam in Eunos area. Upon arriving at our destination in Marine Parade, we couldn't find any parking lots so we moved to another carpark before returning back to the first one where we found our place near the block. The view from the 25th storey of the HDB estate was mind-blowing! The sea is just in front of you! Damn clear and windy! Once I stepped into the house, I was overwhelm by what I saw. The students were all ladies of different ages! and I was the only boy. I started to blush because I was feeling shy. haha! Silly me. The class was interesting! and I got a new cookie recipe! Hehe, gonna use it to feed people! LOL. Photos of my cookies!

Haha, the colouring is abit off but who cares! E says that the Cat and the Bear were nice. Both are in pink. haha! The dress and the erm..ugly tea cup is still in the container. Should be ready to be eaten by now I guess? haha! And no, the lemons are pictures on the table mat! =)
So once the class was over, I drove them back home and had lunch at sharon's place and return the car to tom at the same time. I left hurriedly because it was about to rain, didn't wanna get caught in it.
So i caught the bus back home, bathed and changed before leaving the house again! I didn't get to rest much. haha! Was going to meet a group of friends to celebrate Zhong Chew Jie, Mid Autumn Festival at East Coast Park. I know I'm crazy, travelling up and down to the same place. East Coast Park is near Marine Parade, like just over the expressway that divides them.
Here are the photos of just a fraction of what we did there!

Lantern. Not clear..

A few of us ended playing with candles! I call it, candle art! haha

Candles..

Oh please try to turn your heads about to see the photo. Don't know why it doesn't rotate even though I've rotated the actual photo.

Can you see the moon?

And the double hearts!

The night ended quite late because we headed off to Kallang Macs for chill and relax, cool down!

4th Sept 2009

Slept at close to 2am and woke up at around 7am. Church! Goodness, so sleepy but I managed to stay awake throughout the whole sermon! kudos to me! haha, actually, I was texting away. After service, rushed back home to freshen up before heading off for my cousin's birthday cum family gathering. Then I rush off to SK! Met E for gym. Then it was dinner and movies and everything that spells, late night! I saw KY at the movies though..I was alittle lost and unhappy but got over it because the show that we caught was damn funny! The Ugly Truth! Ought to catch it if you haven't done so! Gerard Butler was hilarious! So was the actress, can't remember her name.

Today was the start of the final semester in polytechnic! First day of school, see a few new faces in class and I WAS FREAKING SLEEPY! But I did fall asleep in class. As usual, busy texting! lol!

I shall round up this post soon.

One thing I can't get is, why do people always jump the gun before everything is out? Like can't they wait? or like pay attention to what others say? I just don't get it..Oh well, on the other hand, I can't wait for the WEEK to END...=)

xoxo

You found me

2009-10-02T00:03:00.000+08:00

Its a small world out there and I know it!
I'm gonna sleep with a smile on my face!
Its getting exciting! or at least, I'm excited!
Keep my fingers crossed, looking out for opportunities and jump!
Someone prepare a rescue boat just in case I sink.
Thanks...
So now, what would it be?
xoxo!

Erm..Tremor?!

2009-09-30T23:50:00.001+08:00

Shuffling between places and waking up early is extremely taxing especially for someone who has been sleeping late and waking up close to noon! And trust me, hospital visits are damn troublesome in Singapore. I know its a must to have all the security checks and limited visitors up in the ward to prevent the spread of H1N1 but its a little too heavy a check isn't it?
So after spending like say, 5-6hours at Singapore General Hospital, I am pretty amaze that there are bell boys at the Block lobby! This bell boy look alike would always open the door of the taxis that have arrived or simply usher someone towards the taxi. Ahaha, Hospital or Hotel? Anyways, there are loopholes in the hospital system, not the whole hospital but the visitor entry to wards system. Anyone can just fake and say, oh, the visitors have left, you can call and check with them. And all you have to do is to ensure that the other person, who is still in the ward, plays along with you and say that they have left the hospital.
The haze was terrible today! Couldn't see the buildings in the distance. Everything was shrouded in haze and visibility across the island was okay..but considered bad. We usually have a clear view of everything ahead of us. Hopefully it clears up tomorrow, don't wish to inhale smoke every time I'm out of the house.
And everyone was saying that they felt tremors in SG. I was too busy to notice what had happen! was in the hospital at that point of time when the event took place. Maybe I did feel it but I can't really confirm. I wonder does global warming affects the plate movements under the earth surface. Haha, and I just downloaded The Day After Tomorrow to watch! I've watched it in the cinema back in 2004 but I'm somehow interested to watch it again! Well, its just me! I like to re-watch shows that I've watched.
Weeee! Time flies and school is gonna reopen next monday! Wonder which class I'm going to. Posting not out yet but I've passed my last semester! Kudos to me and goodbye to you guys. Tired!!! =)

Pee days!

2009-09-24T07:09:00.000+08:00

Morning to everyone out there! Its pretty rare to have me blog at such early hour of the day! Haven't been getting much sleep last night, maybe its insomnia or probably because I slept too much the day before. So here I am in front of the laptop jabbing away on the keyboard with a bowl of cereal mixed with almonds beside me for breakfast! It is stated that almonds are good for health and they go well with your morning cereal.

So the days have been pretty dull, I haven't done much other than staying home, watching shows on my laptop, facebook and youtube-ing! Yea, its kinda boring! Now, staying at home is boring! Who says that its fun?! Let's just say that, there isn't much for me to do since I'm holiday and having a huge hole in my wallet. Can't shop, can't go out..pretty much everything that can't be done. =)
Lately in the papers, there was an article about this lady with her son, he's probably 3-4 years old. What were they doing? She was holding her son while the boy pee into a dustbin at one of the local neighborhood malls and the funny thing was that, there were people looking at her! She doesn't feel ashamed of what she's allowing her son to do and of course, she must have really really thick skin to stand there while everyone stares. Does this mean that Singaporeans this days are getting more and more uncivilized?

How terrible can that be? And my neighbor simply allows her dogs out to the lift landing area to pee! Imagine how irritating can that be?! You step out of the lift and you're greeted with the smell of ammonia and yellow stains on the wall and floor. Come on people, this isn't medieval where people or things just pee anywhere they like! Its the 21st century! Time to wake up and behave civilized!
Okay! I gotta end the pee post, my cereal is all soggy now! Ewww!! Toodles!!

Some thoughts

2009-09-20T22:44:00.000+08:00

Can't seem to blog what is on my heart.
The words never come out right..
So..i'll just leave it to two pictures.

Ferris wheel that takes us high up. Makes you forever everything for a moment.

Winter inside winterland..

pointless blabbers.

2009-09-16T23:16:00.000+08:00

I'm not a fan of organizing huge meetups and gatherings.
Not a fan of blistering heat.
Not a fan of being alone but wishes to be alone.
Not a fan of trying to please everyone because it can end up being tiring.
Not a fan of bushes lately. So don't beat about the bush with me!

On the other hand....
I'm a fan of simply gatherings! like 3-4 person? okay 6 is the max.
A fan of drinking something cold with soothing music in the background.
A fan of being pampered and taken care of instead of the other way around.
A fan of Chinese tea, somehow i fell in love with it! And it is good to drink tea after a heavy oily meal!

Okay...i'm blabbering!

The drug!

2009-09-13T22:32:00.000+08:00

Just a few moons back
Under the sun rays
It felt like yesterday
Each time I look back
my heart wrenches.

Late nights,
late mornings
Brunch,
late dinners
not boring!

Took the drug,
totally addicted,
can't shake it off
just once to get hooked.

Such a bitter sweet
yet I took it.
Now..
how do I move on from here?
----------------------------------------------------------
Still not adapting back to life! Can't stand it when everyone is like rushing about at high speed while I'm wondering why rush when you can actually do things in a relax manner and still get it done. And I'm gonna bitch about the weather. Freaking humid, no wind, cranky! It was so damn crazy today, one moment it rain, the next moment its cloudy. mind you, cloudy doesn't mean windy, it traps the heat on earth instead! Since I'm still on holidays, I've nothing to do! and its not helping. I wanna go out but its too warm, I wanna shop but I gotta think thrice, I wanna have Belgium waffles but I can't, weight conscious!
On a positive note, I've got three thick books to read! New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Yes, I'm like super slow! The craze is over for Twilight but I just hopped on to the wagon. Gonna complete them by this week or next since I've nothing much to do!
LACK OF SLEEP! Gonna stop blogging now. Will write again!

Home Sweet Home

2009-09-11T15:48:00.000+08:00

Just as the title suggest, I'm back home in SG. Touched down at Changi Airport T1 around 530am. The flight was pretty uncomfortable as usual, my legs couldn't move about much and my mind was wandering about everywhere. I managed to get 2 hours worth of sleep on board the plane and spent the remaining hours trying to sleep or staring out of the window into the night sky which was filled with stars. Returning back to SG means that the mundane life style that I've been living is gonna start all over again. The time now is 3.51pm and the sky is cloudy and slightly downcast. Thunders would be heard earlier in the day but it did not rain..the feeling is extremely gloomy!
I miss the cold wind that blow against my cheeks, the flowers that are blossoming in early spring, and not forgetting the companionship of Wai and Nif. I had fun meeting up with them and traveling about in Perth and Adelaide respectively. hahah! I've become broke all thanks to traveling! ARgh!! Need to save up again and perhaps visit another country end of the year. =)
Its warm and humid in SG, upon exiting from the airport to the pick up area, I was overwhelmed by the warm air and thought, how nice if it was colder. It felt good when I enter the car..air conditioning! Still, it doesn't really help. Here's a song for you guys!

Thinking Of You
By Katy Perry

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of a winter
Like a hard candy 
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in 
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him (Ohhhhhhhhh)
I am thinking of you (Ohohohhoh)
Thinking of you (Oh!)
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

Looking into your eyes 
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through 
And bust in the door 
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...
stay

Travelling

2009-09-10T19:32:00.000+08:00

In a foreign country, the only way to get about is by public transport. I've being quite an expert in taking the public transport in Perth. TransPerth is like easy to move about but the stations can some times be quite far from one another. Totally ridiculous and it doesn't enter all the suburbs. I've spent quite a lot of money taking the trains and bus here, one ride can cost me AUD$3.60 or 2.40. Damn expensive to survive, most of my money was spent on them!! damn it..

There's more than just this!

Visited Cottesloe Beach today and the wind was so damn windy! It was so strong and the waves were so huge! Somehow, wai lun and I spotted two crazy surfers swimming in the sea. Here's some photo of the beach!

Cottesloe Reef Fish Habitat Protection Area.

The view from where we stood.

The sea was damn choppy!

I love this shot!

Yesterday, Wai Lun and I went to the movies! Hoyts at Garden City. We caught GI. Joe! It was a nice show, though I didn't wanted to watch it in the first place. Was looking for the show, The Proposal. But they have stopped showing it in the cinemas..so fast la! Damn!

Cinema Tickets!

Yup, will update again soon! Departure at 015hours. Toodles love..

I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing

2009-09-08T22:37:00.000+08:00

I love this song..you know why..

I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing
By AeroSmith

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing,
Watch you smile while you are sleeping,
While you're far away and dreaming,
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender,
I could stay lost in this moment forever,
When every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure,

(Chorus)
I don't wanna close my eyes,
I don't wanna fall asleep,
Cause I'd miss you babe,
And I don't wanna miss a thing,
Cause even when I dream of you,
The sweetest dream would never do,
I'd still miss you babe,
And I don't wanna miss a thing.

Lying close to you,
feeling your heart beating,
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming,
Wondering if it's me you're seeing,
And then I kiss your eyes,
And thank God we're together,
I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever,
Forever and ever.

(Chorus)

And I don't wanna miss one smile,
I don't wanna miss one kiss,
I just wanna be with you,
Right here with you, just like this,
Well I just wanna hold you close,
And feel your heart so close to mine,
And just stay here in this moment,
For all the rest of time
Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah

(Chorus repeated 2 times)

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing

Misses..

Nearing the end

2009-09-08T15:03:00.000+08:00

3 days of fun in Adelaide went back too quickly! I was kinda sad when I boarded the plane back to Perth. Let's try to recap!
Day 1:
Nif took me out for brunch at a chinese restaurant. Didn't take photo there and then. Was too busy eating! We had some salt and pepper barramudi? Confused by all the dishes name, and another dish! I can't remember the name!! Goodness! But it was damn nice! We ordered individual soup too! I had Tom Yam while he had crab and sweet corn soup! Both were nice! But he prefer the corn more! Then off we went up to German Village! Think that place was call Handoff Road or something. Pardon my lousy memory! And yes we did take photos up there! It felt so countryside!! The air was fresh, the people were friendly and the food was great! pictures:

Nearing German village

At Chocolate No.5 waiting for our food!

Fondue on a cold day! Puurrfffeeccctt!!

Belgium waffle with Vanilla Ice cream and Chocolate dips!

So once we were done with German V, we went down to Mount Lofty! That is the place that you can see the whole of Adelaide clearly. But sadly, that day the sun was setting and it created glares across the landscape so we couldn't see much. It was cold up there too! See photos!

The view from the summit!

Its kinda pretty actually!

The words on the tower says: Mount Lofty Summit, 710metres (2329 feet) above sea level!

The Viewing Area

Another photo before we left!

That was day 1! Oh! We went Karaoke with his Uni friends at night! Was really fun! Then for supper, we had pancakes, two sunnyside up and harshbrown before heading back home. Tired!

Day 2! Royal Adelaide show was on, so we decided to drop by and visit! There was like countless amount of things to look at and absorb, we walked the whole afternoon until nightfall and our legs were tired! Photos again!

Breakfast at Sushi train!

Tiger roll! Which consists of Avocado and prawn!

Takoyaki! The 3rd one was eaten before the shot was taken!

Ferris Wheel at Royal Adelaide Show.

Walked by this shop selling sunglasses and decided to try out! nice?

Enlarge to see what is stated on it!

Orchids were on display in the halls!

Then there was a cabinet that displayed a cake competition. Pretty isn't it?

Cupcakes too!

Daffodils! They can be judged too!

One of the game houses at RAS (royal ade show)

For dinner, we had Kwik Sticks! Its a restaurant along O'Connell street where most of the restaurants were high end and expensive! But Kwik Sticks was still affordable I guess. =)

Phat Thai!

Can't remember the name of this dish! Its Spicy something. haha!
End of day 2!

Day 3!
Didn't do much, Nif went off to work in the morning at RAH(Royal Adelaide Hospital) while I wander about town till he could come out for lunch. Not much photos taken but here's some photos of University of Adelaide.

It didn't look like a Uni to me.

A little further in.

Looks like a old church building.

Or some ancient buildings.

Yup..that practically sums up adelaide! I miss that place! Life feels even slower compared to Perth and everywhere was within walking distance! Oh well...will blog again soon!

winter wonderland

2009-09-02T20:51:00.000+08:00

Weee!!! Greetings from Australia, Perth! I haven't had enough sleep, my head is throbbing badly but I love the weather here! Contradicting as it may sound, its a little too cold for me! Nothing much was done today other than taking a look at my uncle's new place and going down to town for a brief moment. And I saw a rainbow!

Its the first time I ever come across such a pretty rainbow! I even saw where it ends but didn't snap a photo of it. In sg, the rainbows are either half, 1/4 or simply too faint to be notice by humans. =) And since it is early spring, flowers are slowly starting to bloom everywhere. Its a nice sign and sight to see.

Nif asked me to fly over to Adelaide to visit him, think maybe I should, since I'm not gonna do much shopping for myself anyways. Will confirm with him when he gets back online later. Meanwhile, I shall go bathe! Toodles to all!! =)

xoxo

Lazy day

2009-09-01T00:21:00.000+08:00

While I'm typing out this post, my mind is actually thinking of a suitable title for it. For now, nothing seems to be able to fit it.
Basically today was a lazy Monday for me. I didn't really do much other than watching Gossip Girl, listening to SNSD and playing face book. Not to forget, web cam with Ham Sap and Zach. Hoho, after having view two persons on web cam, I've finally concluded that, photos and videos make a person look totally different! Really Different! I didn't believe Sap look like how he does on the web cam and Zach, well..he's different too! Maybe he's photogenic not suitable for videoing but who knows..maybe I'm wrong again? Yea..so everything was slow and basically dull.
So around 3..I decided to get my butt out of the house and head down to town. Had to purchase a pair of drum sticks for my cousin whom I'll be seeing tomorrow. Which cousin? That would be the one that is over in Perth! Yea, I'm leaving for Perth in the evening on Teachers' Day! Will reach by 1110pm. So by the time I'm done checking out of the Perth International Airport, it would be close to 12am. I made my way down to Davis Guitar at Peninsular Plaza and bought the cheapest pair of sticks that the shop had. Since I don't know whether he will stick to playing drums until he dies, I guess the cheap one will do just fine. =) Evil cousin aren't I? haha!
Once that was done, I decided to head home. My initial decision was to head over to Suntec City to purchase a watch and a ear stud for myself, but i was too lazy to walk all the way to the other end of town. LAZY ME! So i catch a bus and decided that a slow ride back home would be just nice. Cut the story short, I ended up having dinner at Orchard Hotel!
Met up with a few of my church friends for dinner and it was pretty fun I must say. Food at Orchard Hotel was great, though a little steep but still acceptable. Was nice catching up and laughing about the past when we had youth camps back then. Reminisce of the past!
Gotta sleep early! Haven't pack my luggage. Will do it first thing in the morning! Toodles to the world! muacks!! =)
For now..here's Sorry Sorry with Why I Like You from Superjunior! Enjoy!

Snow Prince's winter

2009-08-30T22:53:00.000+08:00

The author can't think of something appropriate to write about. Its winter in his heart..and he feels the cold. There's this huge boulder in the middle of everything. Hmm, tomorrow shall be a better day..

One Year Later

2009-08-29T22:23:00.000+08:00

Lately I've been searching on youtube for SNSD/Girl's Generation. Hoho, Gee and Genie had their effects on me! I'm somehow addicted to their songs and dance move though I would prefer SHINee and Superjunior anytime. Thus I came across this song performed by SHINee's very own Onew! and Jessica from Girl's Generation. Gosh! I fell in love with the song, damn nice! Jessica's voice sounds quite unique to me. In someway its like low but yet high, pleasing to my ears. And gosh! I must admit that she's quite a head turner! And she's only 20!! Damn...all those korean singers are either 20 or younger and they are already so famous, I wanna be like them!! Sob..
Onew sang pretty well also but he lack the chemistry when performing this song with Jess. Well, basically, the song is about erm...if I have to guess, its about a couple that has broken up and they met each other. So they sort of look through their past one year being apart and wonder how they have survived it or something along this line. U get the drift. Hmm..yea, so Onew did do well in looking all sad from the separation but he did not have much eye contact with Jess..aww..oh well, who cares. Here's the performance from Music Core:

So I met up with Derek before he leaves this sunday for Sydney to further his studies. *Btw I'm not referring to myself but another Derek whom I know from the IT fair I worked at the start of the year.* Yea, so we went to Liquid Kitchen at Serangoon Gardens for drinks and some snacks. Simply chill out and catch up. goodness! its been like how long since we last catch up with each other. Haha! As usual he's the joker and we talked about what he had been up to for the past few months and what my future would be like. Yea, he's gonna become my pen pal!!! Gosh! I'm excited! never have a pen pal before. Ya, so we were chatting and it was kinda funny..we shifted 3 times as the first two seats we had were freaking cold, directly where the air conditioning was blowing at. And at the same time, the waitress kept approaching us, she tried to sell Waterfall, which is a drink, to him. But na..we didn't go for it. My first drink was whisky on the rock while he had, jack daniel's. Then some cajun fries and Bacon wrapped hotdogs. Damn nice! Then later we ordered a glass of beer each since it was 2 for a certain price. Yup, and it was his treat to me! Gawd!! That ass just recieved his citizenship and he's entitled to the GST offset from the governement which is a total of $400! So he bai bai have $400 in his bank plus his working salary to top it. So he decided to be nice and use the government's money which is also every working adults' tax to pay for the night. Damn! it was fun catching up! Sadly, he's leaving already. Alisa and Fiona couldn't join us but I'm glad they didn't came along, cause we stayed there until closing hours which was 2am? yea! I wouldn't mind visiting that place again. haha! By the time I reached home it was close to 3. Willy was still online, so I chatted with him for a while then he went off while I stayed on to watch some shows before sleeping. And I slept like a dead log! Only woke up at around 10..if it wasn't for Daryl's smses..I would still be sleeping until 12 in the noon when my mom called to ask whether I needed lunch. =)
C'mon Tuesday, come a little faster please!

Gee

2009-08-28T22:16:00.000+08:00

Zach showed me something today, there were a few MVs..but I found this one to be exceptionally interesting! Its Gee by Girls Generation. Its a Korean song and its damn refreshing. Somehow, after listening to it, I feel kinda alive! Like awaken. haha!
Here's the music vid.

Then after watching the whole MV, I suddenly remember that I've heard this song before! Sang by a mixture of Korean boy bands! Mixture as in, they pick some out from groups like SHINee, 2pm, Superjunior...you get the drift. Loves youtube! Search and you shall get it! And I did! hoho! Here's the cover dance performance of Gee by the boys! They call themselves, Boy Generation. And the way they dance was so hiliarious when compared to the girls. The video features, Key From SHINee, Nickhun from 2pm, some of the guys from Superjunior and the rest are from, I don't really know where. haha!

Here's the vid.

Hoho, I must admit that some of the girls from Girls Gen are rather pretty! Haha, enjoy!!

straightener?

2009-08-26T22:25:00.000+08:00

Everytime when I visit the hair dresser and see someone getting their hair rebonded or straighten, I would always be amazed at how the hair dresser manage to part the hair into sections and slowly do their job. Its considered fascinating to me! And they seem so skilled at it..okay, its their profession so they have to be skilled..what am I talking about..silly me.
Now talking about straightening, I have frizzy hair and my fringe curls. Okay, not that bad but just slight curls which I never like. And since the start of say...MAY? or was it April? I started to take good care of my hair! I bought many types of product for it! Like Dove Dry Therapy conditioner which has treatment in it, Sunsilk Damage repair condition, the treatment too, leave on conditioners. Yea, so bottomline, I take very good care of my hair now. But sadly, I can never get rid of the curls and waves..its hereditary. My mum has waves and curls...so naturally, I get it too since I'm her son.
So a few weeks back, I heard from a friend that Watsons sells Hair Straightener! Hoho! I went to check it out and indeed they have in! And it was sold at a pretty reasonable price! But I didn't buy it that day. I decided to come back some other time and from that week on, I was contemplating whether to cut my hair or not to. Somehow I can't leave it like KimBum who acted in Boys Over Flower.
Today! I decided to buy it! Well, can use it for my mum too, worse come to worse..sell it off if I dun really need it. Actually, I bought quite a fair bit of stuff from Watsons today. The cashier asked whether I was interested in getting the membership which cost $5 and I hesitated for quite a while before saying, no. Can't anyhow spend! I bought 3 items for my trip next week, body foam, toothpaste and shampoo! All had to be 100ml or less if not I'll get into trouble. Yup, so added them to the shelf that holds the facial, the conditioner and the contact lens solution! So my toiletries for the trip is settled!
Okay, back to the topic. Yea, so I bought the hair straightener and played with it after bath. Straightening the my hair wasn't an easy task. The fringe was manageable but the rest of my head was like impossible! I need an extra pair of eyes and hairs to help me do the straightening. But! i managed to straighten most my front hair. So now I've straight fringe! Of course the effect would wear off once water touches it but heck! I'm happy enough to get it straighten! haha! I feel so vain! Hoho, now..should I get my hair cut tomorrow?

A little ranting

2009-08-25T11:43:00.000+08:00

Finally its Tuesday! The official 5 weeks holiday starts at 6pm! Yes, thats the timing when the last paper ends, Data Comm! I spent my whole of yesterday compiling 15weeks of work into 3 pieces of A4 paper! How crazy is that? Wonder why the school doesn't allow us to refer back to our laptop notes for this module unlike the others. It makes life so much more difficult! But I manage to squeeze most of what I think is relevant..well, hopefully! haha! The 1st piece of A4 is handwritten and after completing both sides of the paper, I realize that it was extremely time consuming and the drawings for some diagrams were horrible. So I decided to use powerpoint to do the remaining two papers and later, I swap over to Words. I could squeeze two ppt slides onto 1 page on Word so it was so much better! Seems like everyone is having test and exams to sit for. Wai has a paper this week and next..Willy has one on monday and I have mine today! Ohh! Not to forget the other poly students too, I believe their exams have started or at least, around the corner. Yup! What a life!

Pfft..where is mine? Just a few days back, I was thinking about exactly the same thing as what I have in mind now as I type. Its like, you're being nice/kind or whatever it is...basically, NICE! but in return you seem to be forgotten or deem as not that important so does it really pay to be nice some times? Well, given my attitude, I can just avoid anyone with just a frown on my face and to make it worse, stab anyone who walks into my way. But I'm not such a bad ass to simply scare people of or to make anyone feel afraid of me.
I'm only human and I need to be love. How true does this sentence hold? I believe its so damn real!

opera or barbara?

2009-08-23T21:24:00.000+08:00

What will I be doing in the future? Like what job will I have? Will I make it big? Will I settle down and have kids? Or will I end up being a poor soul somewhere? Damnit..I hate thinking about all these stuff. They haunt me whenever a certain topic is brought up and I'm sick of it. I hate it, I feel like hell whenever I'm thrown into that situation. Bottomline, it sucks!
At least for now, let me enjoy whatever little happiness I can get, let me smile at whatever small things that come by this way. Just let me be who I wanna be and how I want things to be..can?

andwaeyo andwaeyo geureoke gajimayo
jebal han beonman han beonman nal dasi anajwoyo
dasi nungama neol boreo gamyeon geu jarie meomchun nareul anajwoyo...

Late nights

2009-08-22T18:22:00.000+08:00

Damn! I couldn't get through the line...he must be busy or perhaps someone is on the other line. Nevermind, shall try later. The 2nd and 3rd call ended up in the same manner, voicemail! Argh!!! Too tired, and its already 12+ I've a paper to sit for on the following day at 830..I shall leave a note, at least I'll try calling again on friday night, around 11pm? Zzz..off to bed!
This was what happen on thursday night after I blogged about fishing. I waited till 1155pm, hoping to call someone but it failed! Tired, I went off to bed, there's a paper on friday morning at 830am.
But instead of sleeping, I ended up tossing and turning about on my bed, trying very hard to sleep but I couldn't! Or should I say, I didn't fall into deep sleep, just drift off then wake up? Think my mind didn't wanna be shut down that night. So by 5+ in the morning, I was still tossing about! I roughly guess the time because its usually around 5 that my dad would wake up and do his things, make breakfast etc. And at the time I was suppose to wake up, I fell deep asleep but had to force myself to wake up.
The paper was at 830am, had to be in the class by 815, since I manage to get a ride from my dad to one of the bus stop near our house just to catch the direct bus up to woodlands, I reached school pretty early. Somehow, I wasn't feeling sleepy or tired! I manage to stay away through the whole 1hour paper! Oh, it was a chemistry paper!
Yea, so after the paper, as usual, catch my driver friend and get a ride back to sengkang, but I detoured to compass point so that I could buy my bus concession and top up my fare card. Then its back home! Decided to rest initially, but half of the time I was watching Gossip Girl. I had to report for an ad hoc job at 430pm.
I thought that it would be better if I bus down to marina square but it started to rain and I had approximately 1hr to arrive at the given location, so no choice, bus to the train station and head down from there. It was faster to take a bus and transfer to a train that heads down to town. I reached the given location at around 415pm? Yea, was still early but the guy only showed up at 445pm?
There was a total of say..6 of us at first, no.7 joined us later. Our jobs were pretty simple, just packing and relocating the desktop for a certain company, and this time round, we were doing it for Credit Suisse. I just found out that its one of the leading financial services group in sg and its located at One Raffles Link beside Marina Square. The job was fairly simple, just disconnect the whole pc and relocate it to the new desk, ensure that everything is plug back accordingly and works. But, the only complain I had was the amount of dust! The area where the LCD sat was so damn dusty, the cpu unit had thick layers of dust on it too! How horrible can that be? Don't they know simple housekeeping rules? Oh well, who care..i get my pay at the end of the day and that's it. Work started at 5 and ended, say around 10? Yup! Then it was time for dinner, we had subway! Okay, just 5 of us, the others went home. Then by 11 the shop was closing so we had to leave the place. So I decided to take a bus back home since the bus stop that has the direct bus was just behind where we were eating.
So while walking to the bus stop, I tried calling again. 1st call had some problems connecting so I gave up and redial again but I ended up with voicemail! So damn sad..I tried the 3rd time before the bus arrived, still getting voicemail. Tired and upset, I boarded the bus and decided to snooze my way home. After like 1 or 2 stops, I decided to call again, I don't like the feeling of not getting what I wanted to do. And hoho! The call made it thru! Wai answered and of course I finally manage to wish him sweet 18! And then we chatted for a few minutes. Hoho, I'll get to see him real soon, excited!! The bus journey back seem to take forever because the bus driver was doing like 50-60km/hr..how slow can that be? Fell asleep before a few stops to my place and before that I notice fish! Hoho! Nice looking fish, but I didn't try to catch it..too tired. So I alighted and took a slow walk back, didn't realize how late it was until I looked at my watch and saw that it was already 1145pm! So I quicken my pace and hurried back. Came online, left a note and ran off to have a quick bathe, say 15mins? hoho! By then it was already pass 12.
So I chatted online with Wai for awhile before going offline somewhere around 1230. I have another paper on saturday morning. Like wth!! This concludes friday's event.
SHINee's Juliette started to play at 6am, argh!!! Time to wake up and I'm so sleepy! I shut the alarm and decided to snooze for another 2-3mins before dragging myself out of bed. I was walking like a zombie, half asleep, half awake. Decided not to have milk in the morning because lately it seems to make me run to the toilet! So I drank a cup of water, had some biscuits and my dad was asking whether I want milk or milo, of course I rejected both, fearing that they might send me for toilet visits during the paper. Pack my things, took a bathe and changed up, by then it was pass 7am. Had my brother to send me straight to school since he's heading off for lessons at SIM also..I arrived at my school door step by 745am. How early can that be, the school had a few souls walking about but I couldn't be bothered, I just wanted to head to class, set up my laptop and hopefully get some sleep time. Sad to say, I ended up chatting online and Facebooking. The invigilator was already in the classroom when I stepped into the class, somehow he was testing out some things on his mini laptop/netbook. Asked whether I was sitting for the test and carried on with his things. So the paper started at 830am. It was on Biosignal Processing which I totally suck at and its a freaking 90mins paper! Goodness! To sum up how I survived through that 90mins, the 1st 30mins was spent simply by staring at the paper blankly and trying to figure out question 1. The next 30 went by quite quickly because I started to doze off, was damn tired and by the last 30mins, I woke up and decided to attempt the last 3 questions. Most of which I scribbled something which I hope was the correct answers.
Then I went back with my driver of course, he's my beloved BFF! Driver and passenger for this whole year! hoho! So I came back, took a shower, wait for my hair to dry and by 12, I was dead asleep. I knew my parents came home from their own shopping but I was too tired to even reply my mum, just continue sleeping. Around 3.30pm, Larry called and ask to borrow my formal shoes which I readily agreed due to my lack of consciousness. Then, I fell back asleep until it was close to 5.30pm. Woke up and was feeling hungry, didn't have lunch so I went out to the kitchen, freshen myself up, drank a cup of water and ate whatever I could find. That was 4 lotus buns and a cup of redoxon.
Now...what should I do next? The car is out all thanks to my brother who is using it for his army reservist which I deem totally unfair. I'm stuck at home rotting! Hopefully someone calls to get me out for dinner/supper later!
hmm..so, hair cut tomorrow? Or next week? *wonders*

Lousy fisherman

2009-08-20T18:48:00.000+08:00

Fishing as we all know needs patience and some skill. Of course you can't be moving your line most of the time if not you won't get any fish. You must know how to hook your bait well and ensure that the mouth of the fish opens big enough to get hooked. At the same time, feeling is important, you have to feel that sudden vibrating of the rod then pull the rod back slightly so as to feel whether there is fish getting hooked on! Okay..enough introduction.
There is this certain fisherman call K and lately he has started fishing. On tuesday, he went out to sea and fish hoping to get a handsome catch for the day. During that few hours he was out in the sea, there were many fishes swimming around him and he spotted this certain fish, lets name it, B! B had already taken notice that the fisherman was trying to catch him and of course swam about making it tough on the fisherman. K tried very hard to get the fish but he was swimming about too much even though they saw each other. At the end of the day..K had to leave because his boat had to be returned. Feeling damn sad, K left the fishing ground but not after stealing another look at the handsome fish B which was still swimming about happily.
After resting for a day, K went back out to the sea again. Same fishing ground hoping to find fish B but sadly, it wasn't the correct timing. So K looked around for other fishes hoping to find one that he likes. From the corner, he saw Z! Z was bigger and darker compared to the small size B from tuesday. So K tried to catch Z. Apparently, Z wasn't bothered by K! Even though Z knows that its being hunted by K, it wasn't bothered! Z swam about with ease occasionally running into K but avoided contact. After an hour, Z swam off as it was done with whatever it was doing, leaving K behind. feeling damn sad, K decided to leave the fishing area again. There wasn't much fish left for him to catch, the biggest catch was gone and what was left behind were unsightly ugly fishes.
Do you think K would run into B and Z again? of course that is provided if he heads out to fish at the same timing that he did for the two days he ran into them.

Okay, back to life! I was reading a certain blog just now and I was damn impress by the way the author typed. His language was excellent, his memory is so vivid and the post are always interesting! Hoho, how I wish I could write at the same standard as him.

At long last

2009-08-19T18:34:00.000+08:00

After some comments from W, I decided to change my blog skin and at the same time convert over to the new blogger layout! Something which I was rather reluctant to do over the years, that was because I find the new blogger harder to use! I know! damn lazy to learn right? But finally I decided to move on and play with the new settings! Most of the afternoon was spent editing and changing the skin. At first I decided to use two columns but W say its too lame, so I had to search for a 3 columns skin which I did but it was considered ugly. So W gave me this new .xml file which gave me the final skin! Of course I had to do the layout for my columns and put in a photo for the header. I changed like 3 photos? Yea, the first one was considered too colourful, needs to contrast with the skin thus came the second picture which was considered too artistic even though the colours match. So I finally chose the current one which was taken last December when I was over in Perth! I could still remember that it was the start of summer and the air was cool! Went out to Bibra lake for BBQ even though we had just arrive in the early morning.

So once I was done with the blog stuff, I went blog surfing! Was reading K's blog and eating a green apple at the same time. Once I was done reading, I realize that I had chomp up the whole apple!
The core of the apple was the only thing that was left and it didn't had the hour glass figure! Hoho! It was the first time I had ever eaten my apple until it was this thin. Usually I quite a chunky piece left but today is an exception I guess? haha!

So, what do you guys think about the new blog layer? Better than the last? W definitely agrees with that! haha!

The case of the blur cock driver

2009-08-18T00:32:00.000+08:00

I shall title this post as: The case of the blur cock driver!

I was driving back from my friend's place in punggol area, and as usual i was driving at illegal speed! It was a small road so driving about 80 is considered illegal. So all the traffic lights that i ran through were green until it came to this one on the bridge above the TPE - tampines expressway. It links punggol and sengkang together and at the same time allow drivers from TPE to enter those two areas. So I could clearly remember that it was red light and i stopped the car on the extreme red light but somehow the lane at the next traffic light which was a few metres away turn right down to the expressway. So I told myself that I must filter to the lane on my left later.
I saw green light so I decided to roll the car forward slowly since the traffic light in front hasn't turn green. And while I was rolling forward, I looked to my right and realize the cars on my right are moving towards me too! OMG!! I looked up and realize that the light is red and I have not even cross the road! So I stepped on the pedal and just nice, the front traffic light turned green, so I sped off and at the same time shouted, OH MY EFFING GOD! of course to myself in the car. I was embarrassed and lost at the same time! My eyes played trick on me meh? Cannot be what, I remember seeing green! Or did i see the green light from the traffic light that was at the other end of the road? So dumb man..
I didn't dare to look to my right or left in case the drivers that filtered up from the expressway was on my side staring at this cock driver.
So...was i careless? or did my eyes played tricks on me? Or did the traffic light simply change colour in a matter of 2 seconds? Strange!!!
Whatever it is, I'm still alive! Thank God..hahahah!!

2009-08-16T22:01:00.000+08:00

Don't agree when you know you won't be able to live up to what you say.
Don't shoot your mouth off when all you know is peanuts.
Don't act as if you're so damn important when actually everyone is stabbing you from the back.
The best thing to do is to put on a mask and pretend everything would be okay.
Some times the worse is yet to be seen.
When you make a decision, you either stick by it or forget about it. Things only gets out of hand if you become wishy washy.
Life isn't something that you can plan and believe that it will head in that direction, the other parties involve would have to agree on it so that things can work out smoothly.

So what if one day you realize that whatever you had in mind isn't gonna work out like how you expected it to be, what would you do? And you're at a place whereby you have the least ability to do anything about it? Someone give me an exit strategy!!

Happy endings, bed of roses and they live happily ever after aren't really things that exist in life. They are simply made beliefs which never happens in reality world. We have to slog our ass off everyday just to achieve something, work damn hard for that certain goal and destroy our brain cells most of the time. The perfect love which exist in dramas and movies are actually just a one sided story. When you look at the other side of it, you realize how ugly and tough it is. There isn't that perfect guy or girl out there waiting, everyone has his or her own flaw and you can't expect to land yourself with a princess or prince charming, its not gonna happen. To put it simply, life is a bitch! Reality is tough and cruel. Its either you die or you cry. Damnit, I'm feeling all negative and vexed. Its time to wake up and face the world man! being delusional isn't gonna help much, there's no happily ever after until you have both feet in the soil! ARgh!! Cruel life..

2009-08-14T22:31:00.000+08:00

Weeee!!! The past 2 days have been pretty eggciting for me! OH! tues too! I've been down with fever, cough and sore throat since the start of the week and it wasn't fun at all. The fever went up and down, the cough was terrible. But I managed to recover slightly on tues morning, and when out for dinner with my cousins at SHOKUDO! Never take any pictures. Damn! Halfway through dinner, my fever returned! ARGH!! i couldn't taste much of what i was eating and ate most of the light and non fried stuff! Nontheless, we had fun talking about everything under the sun! And my cousin whose birthday falls on the 12th, gave me a bracelet from METALURGY! I gave her a nice necklace.
On wednesday, nothing was done, just that I went back to school to present my FYP project. Had a hard time but we survived as a team! So glad that we made it through, hopefully! Results not out yet, but i believe we'll pass! Oh! And i look good in my formal wear! No pictures again! damn kuku-nathan!
Thursday!!! Its the actual day of my birthday! The earliest greeting I got was from overseas! Thanks ham-sap doctor! He greeted me on wednesday night around 10+pm..how nice! haha! Then the next person who greeted me after that was probably, Wailun! Overseas again! He sent an sms over! He was early by a few minutes too! He was tired so he couldn't wait until the very moment to sent the sms! Appreciate the thought! Then after 12 was daryl, my cousin and many more...can't remember the order! Luckily I set my phone to the lowest volume if not I'll be kept awake the whole night.
Even though its my birthday, I had to return to school for lessons, no self-declared holiday for me. School went about as usual, it was chemistry and I was actually bored by the lessons. Lunch was a twist! I didn't expect my friends to buy me a slice of cake, make me stand up on the bench in the canteen, and sing to me HAPPY BIRTHDAY! It was damn embarrassing la, luckily it is already the last year, if not i wouldn't know where to hide my face. And I got a nice new wallet from fossil! Its white!! Damn pretty! Ken immediately strip my old wallet off and transferred everything over to the new one, haha! looks fat once it was filled up! But that was because there were some rubbish that needed to be thrown away.
So throughout the whole day I was receiving well wishes on FB and through sms and even till today, i still receive belated wishes!
Dinner with my parents was a simple affair. We went to the GIANT hypermarket to eat and at the same time do some grocery shopping!
And just a few hours before the day ended, I received the sweetest message on FB!! Birthday Wishes in 15 different languages! Made me smile the whole night! Thanks Shui zai! I felt really blessed to have good friends and family members around me! So, thats basically, thursday!

Fridays were suppose to be the day that i actually look forward to, but I had friday blues today! somehow time crawled snail pace. John came by RP for lunch with his friend and I went to meet him. And after school ended, i went off with him to find min for some fun filled activity! An all expense paid trip to the arcade! The 3 of us behave like 3 crazy kids that have not entered TIMEZONE for many years, seems like we were deprived of it! Played Daytona, shoot some hoops, played air hockey, time crisis and the list continues. Then sakae sushi was for dinner! All expense paid dinner too! It was nice having dinner with them, long time since we all came out together and had fun! Mun came to join us slightly later before we moved off to swensens for ice cream. We ordered fondue! I'm still coughing so the fruits and marshmellow was all I had. And yes i did take some photos! Just that I can't upload them onto blogger now. Something seems wrong with the webby.

Tomorrow is another night worth of outing with the FYP gang and school friends!!! Weee!! Gonna be so broke! And I'm gonna fly!!! Toodles!!

2009-08-10T13:47:00.000+08:00

ARGH!!! I'm sick on a holiday. How dumb can it be..Last night i wasn't feeling well when I was at my grams place, the cough and sore throat kicked in the the morning followed by the fever late in the night. Tues got trial napfa 2.4 running, think I'll have to skip it, don't wanna run halfway and faint on the tracks, its embarrassing! Weds got FYP presentation, hopefully I would have recovered by then, if not....i dunno how. haha! Thurs also got napfa trial test, the 5 stations the consist if sit and reach, pullups, shutter run, sit ups and standing board jump. Next week is the last week of school, but there will be test on 21,22, 24 and 25th. So my official holidays start on the 25th! Holidays till 5th october. Alright, I need to go get more rest, drink lotsa water and hopefully recover asap. Toodles!

2009-08-08T17:23:00.000+08:00

The fun lasted for awhile, but when it ends, reality seems to hit me badly again. Its saturday, a bright, humid and boring Saturday. I'm dying to go out and do something but there's nothing much to do. Tomorrow is national day, well, fair enough that monday is a holiday. But its gonna be another boring monday i guess, i've no class to attend, so I'll probably be stuck at home fermenting.

Lately my laptop is going crazy, the touchpad just died on me yesterday, it keeps flying all over the screen even without anyone touching it. So I have no choice but to disable it and use the mouse. How inconvenient is that? Gonna try pestering my dad for a netbook, for mobility and traveling sake.

School is ending in another 2 weeks time, by the 25 I'll be free! Wonder what should i do for the holiday..the air ticket pricing sucks big time, they are rocketing sky high..hopefully i won't have to shelf my plans. I wanna get away from this boring life.
GTG! Can't stare at the laptop screen any longer. Becoming blind soon! Toodles!!

2009-08-03T22:26:00.000+08:00

hmm, its already so late, but there isn't a single soul around. Strange as it is but I'm getting too tired. Let's do a recap for the weekends!

Saturday morning, woke up quite early, say 7am? Dragged my half asleep body out of bed, had a light breakfast, bathed, change and prepare myself to go over to JB! The Boleh land! Went over with von, tomsum and gil. Was quite sometime since we went out like that and i admit that it was damn fun! I was shock when i arrive at JB custom, what the hell happen to it?! Apparently they had constructed a new building but it was way further inside. Imagine u're in malaysia's land but u have not even pass the custom? Yea, it was so far la! And the road wasn't straight! It twist and turn, uphill downhill, goodness, their infrastructure planning is horrible! And the custom officer do things extremely slow, took him so long to clear 6 passports. So once in there, we headed off to jusco, i dunno which part of JB, i can't remember the name, but there is a Tesco beside it. We had Kenny Rogers for lunch! Apparently the service was quite bad, Gil had cold coffee and when they reheat it, it came back worse..her macaroni and cheese was forgotten, and her order was mixed up, instead of a full sandwich meal, she only got half of it. She was really pissed with them. Somehow, they forgot to take into account that she ordered macaroni and cheese, so it wasn't printed on the bill!! weee!!! So it wasn't so bad after all.
After lunch, we walked about Jusco, I was hoping to get something for myself, like clothes or shoes. But end up, i came back with nothing for myself. Bought back banana cake, mini buns, lotsa Anlene milk, yakult and yogurt drink for the family. Didn't find anything that was nice for myself.

Sunday morning, i drag myself out of bed also. Or rather, i jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom to bed and get ready for church. My family was awake and waiting for me to get changed! Church was erm...okay i guess..yea, didn't have lunch with them but instead, i went to meet a friend for lunch. Caught the movie, Overheard! The HK film, it is damn good! Sad ending though. BUT WA LAU! WHY IS IT IN CHINESE!!! My friend in perth said that the whole movie was in cantonese la! Tsk, stupid man..i feel cheated! Then after the movie, i headed back to my grams place for dinner as usual.

Today was sleepy lesson day. Damn tired, boring lesson, school internet was screwed up. Kept signing in and out of msn, couldn't hold a stable connection. Damn! hopefully tomorrow the wireless network would be stabilize. And as usual, I have to hear people talk without using their brains to think. Like some dumb ass.
And i find that, there seems to be lesser and lesser people whom i can communicate with. Or rather, understand me..or maybe because I've changed? *wonders*

2009-08-01T22:25:00.000+08:00

i'm too tired for the world..
rollercoasters aren't my favorite joy rides,
they are more of a kill joy!

Better watch what you say,
I'll wont be so nice and laugh things off,
i wont let you step all over me,
you wont get to throw your bloody weight around either.
Just watch out, what word wrong and u're dead!
I swear over this life of mine!
u may be king of your own world,
but you're nothing when u're in mine!
BITE YOUR TONGUE!

*derek isn't in a good mood ever since weds..

2009-07-30T11:21:00.000+08:00

Two days of constant freezing isn't what I enjoy. The freaking air conditioning in the lab is damn cold la! And to think that yesterday I was in the same place for a freaking 5-6hours. So what's my mind thinking about now? Well, for starters, it longs for the bed! Yes, damn tired..but I have a incomplete report that is overdue for two days. I'm doing it! i'm doing it! Don't hurry me..
Next up, I wish to be at a certain somewhere now, way across the ocean that is. =) *WHY WHY* get it? Soh Lou probably understand what I mean..I hope? I guess? Yawns...tired.
And I feel like running from lessons! My usual group of peeps aren't around today, no driver!! Sian..I have to take a bus home, probably drop by somewhere to buy bubble tea or something to much. Hehe!
Now..I wonder what was all that about, maybe it was too fast? It is irritatingly confusing. Maybe I should learn to feel less? But I'm not a cold blooded person, even though I can a snow prince at times. I'm not sorry for such an attitude! Especially when I'm tired or lost in thoughts. I need my own space lor. haha!
I wanna learn korean!! All these korean songs by Shinee, SS501 and Super Junior are growing more and more on me! Especially Juliette, Please Don't Go and Stand By Me from Shinee, Its you by Super Junior, Stand By Me and Find from Ss501. I wanna be able to understand the meaning of the song..not just listening to the catchy tunes. Songs without meanings are as good as crap regardless of how good it is.

I wonder whether the guy will send me an sms later, to inform me that there is a job tomorrow. I wanna earn earn earn! Den save up some moolah$$ and fly over the ocean! Well...you get me! Don't pretend that you don't.
So what should I have for lunch later? hmm....

*Ice statue in progress* Or snow man? either one..its damn cold! BrRrrRr...Can i have some warmth? =)

2009-07-29T00:04:00.000+08:00

Weeee!!!
Things have been pretty interesting for the past few days/nights. Thanks to a certain friend of mine. You know who you are! Soh Lou! haha! hmm..somehow it's back again! Yes, after so long, but its different unlike the past. So how am I gonna deal with it? Its a long shot but I guess its the best way out for now. Sit back and see how things develop, its a dangerous investment! Like a rollercoaster ride. Exciting yet dangerous, u never know when you'll get flung off the coaster. haha! And I've been in love with a certain song lately. Heard of the song Fallin For You By Colbie Caillat? The song is damn sweet, but I can't share it with anyone. sadly. haha! Shall post the lyrics.

I don't know
But I think I may be fallin' for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should keep this to myself
Waiting 'til I know you better

BRIDGE:
I am trying not to tell you
But I want to
I'm scared of what you'll say
And so I'm hiding what I'm feeling
But I'm tired of holding this inside my head

CHORUS:
I've been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you
I've been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you
I'm fallin' for you

As I'm standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
And we start to dance
All around us
I see nobody
Here in silence
It's just you and me

BRIDGE:
I am trying not to tell you
But I want to
I'm scared of what you'll say
And so I'm hiding what I'm feeling
But I'm tired of holding this inside my head

CHORUS:
I've been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you
I've been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you
I'm fallin' for you

Oh, I just can't take it
My heart is racing
The emotions keep spinning out

CHORUS:
I've been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you
I've been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you
I'm fallin' for you

I think I'm fallin' for you

I can't stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can't hide it
I think I'm fallin' for you
I can't stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can't hide it
I think I'm fallin' for you

I'm fallin' for you

Ooohhh
Oh no no
Oooooohhh
Oh, I'm fallin' for you.


Yup, nice isn't it?
So If I could, I definitely would! Trust me!

xoxo

2009-07-22T21:29:00.000+08:00

I'm bored..Its a lousy Wednesday night, its a little bit too quiet for me.
I need some life, some entertainment.
I did something interesting today, but the excitement has wore off.
Facebook became boring after playing with it for a few hours..there's nothing interesting online.
Other than Black Roses that is..=)
And come to think of it,
I suddenly miss someone...
seems like eons since we last talk.
Actually it wasn't that long...just a few hours back in the evening around 5-6. =)
And I think I got a freelance job..I did? I think I did...really? hmm..I wonder. Oh well, I wouldn't know until I get my first job info! =)
Its thursday tomorrow..how slow is that, life can be a bitch when you've nothing to do!
Oh well...
black rose anyone? =)

2009-07-16T22:26:00.000+08:00

Its been one hell of a ~~fucking~~ week. Like XYZABCDEG!@#!$#$%@#$!$!!!!!!!! Goodness, if I could punch something or destroy something now, i would happily do so. Its like FUCKED UP LA! stupid week...fucking republic polytechnic that is a daily prison. Here's the routine: you go to school, before you enter campus, you must take our your tag(thermometer) and show them that you're their freaking student coming in to study. I view it as, prisoner returning to jail but the twist is that I get to go home everyday while prisoners get locked in 24/7. THEN! you go to class and you freaking take your temperature and show that facilitator aka prison warden THEN! you go online and submit a declaration saying that you're not having H1N1 shit before the facilitator issues a sticker. And the lessons start! That's not all for the prisoner routine. The stickers determine which foodcourt we're able to go and we're given a specific time out for both breaks. The first one lasting a short 15-20mins and the second one, 45mins. When the time is up, the freaking announcement is made. DEAR STUDENTS, YOUR BREAK TIME IS OVER, PLEASE RETURN TO YOUR RESPECTIVE CLASSES IMMEDIATELY. I REPEAT: DEAR STUDENTS...yadayadayada, blah blah blah...MY GOSH! totally fucked up shit. So most of the time, we end up sneaking into the other FORBIDDEN foodcourt to eat, yes, RP SUCKS! THERE'S SO MANY LOOPHOLES! At the end of the day, we're only allowed to leave at 4.30pm..earlier then that and the facilitators refuse...like what the hell...human being locked in the cell ah? damnit..stupid shit.

And then there's that FITNESS PROGRAM SHIT! don't attend and they minus off our CE points..just nice i've 4 exctra points to give them BUT its at the expense of 2 CE points for everyday that we skip. So that means 2 days and i'll max out. Which is today..because monday i skipped the program, today i also skip the program. CANT BE BOTHERED WITH IT! And so, they came up with a new rule, students who miss the program would be considered absent for the 1st part of the school lessons even though u attend class the whole day, LIKE WTF! GO TO HELL LA! BASTARDS! damn assholes la..trying all ways to squeeze us into a corner..nbcb...might as well send another email saying that its compulsory? go through all this trouble for what fuck? DAMN THE SCHOOL!

How nice if I could kick their asses and brains out..stupid and totally ridiculous..

END OF THE PRISON RANTING.

I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE HAVE EXPECTATIONS ON ME! its not like i can do everything right? you think i'm superman ah? even superman needs to rest lor! And you request and I must say yes and do it? GET A LIFE! i'm not gonna comply to everything that people ask from me lor. zzzz...totally pissed. I've enough load on me already yet there's more being added on. MISSILES FROM OVERSEAS AREN'T VERY FUN EITHER! I would have to kick your ass if I have to! Zzzz...I'm leaving that zone for now man! LEAVE ME ALONE! pfftt...

I'm sorry if I've sounded impatient and grouchy lately. Everything has been on edge lately, I need an emergency escape soon...before I go nuts..

SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!

2009-07-10T19:21:00.000+08:00

I prefer to be surprised than to surprise...

2009-07-09T23:27:00.000+08:00

Haha, lately it seems that my blogging skills sucks big time!
Every time when I thought about something to write, it would be forgotten by the next moment!
Or
I can't continue writing what I had to say.
Yea, so its not that I'm lazy to blog,
its just my mind that simply can't process what I have to say!
Oh well,
GOODBYE LESLIE ONG!
Yes yes, no bits and pieces shop for you!
See you in 2 weeks time! I'll get u something for your head! hahah!
Japanese POW!
Take care!

Don't you just love singapore's army? Fantabulous isn't it? I'm blabbering..toodles!

2009-07-02T01:11:00.000+08:00

YAY!!! Finally got a chance to catch Transformer: Revenge Of The Fallen! It was a great movie man! Sat there for 2 hours and my butt became numb. hahah! And guess where I watch, GV yishun10! As if it wasn't enough that every sunday my mornings are spent there. Oh well, I'm hoping for a part 3 to come out. And I'm in no mood for school this week!!! ARgh...sickening. Can't they just shut the whole school and save us the trouble of getting Leave Of Absence? Dumbies..

2009-06-28T21:50:00.000+08:00

its like a trap or a mystery with no solution to it.
You feel trapped, stuck and uncertain of the next move.
You consider the points available but all of it points back to your death. Argh!!!
So you continue to be closeted. Hopefully there will be a way out somehow.
Then the next thing you become jealous. Wanting everything impossible, your own make believe fairytale that doesn't have an ending. How strange is that?
..................................................................................................

Okay, enough bullshitting. Hmm, my voice isn't back yet but still I'm talking at a level that worsens the condition, the constant clearing of my throat. Was told that I shouldn't be so rough when clearing my throat as it makes it worse. Oh well..gonna get lotsa strepsils tomorrow and hopefully voice returns on tuesday. Keep croaking...how horrible is that?!

I've been missing the life of living alone at home. Come home and no one is around, the tranquillity that fills the whole place. But the maintaining of the house would be a chore. Hahaha! Finding the 3 meals is kinda troublesome too! But somehow, I still prefer a place of my own. Okay...enough ranting. i'm just envious! =)

tsk...BUS STOP AH! gRRR...

2009-06-26T17:54:00.000+08:00

THE POST THAT SPANS FROM LAST WEEK TILL TODAY!

H1N1 caught up with RP! Till date, there is a confirm of 31 cases and I'm still attending school! How hardworking I am! It seems like the year 2 and 3 aren't important to the school since the year 1 are get getting their 1 week ~~holiday~~ home quarantine. Its not relax and sleep in mind you...There is E-learning! And its a lot more ~~fuck~~ up compared to learning in the classroom. One example is that, students like me can't ~~leech~~ depend on the cleverer ones. Not fun at all! And our holidays would be shorten so as to replace what the weeks that we have missed out. How dumb can that get. I strongly disagree against all this nonsense! But at the same time, can't continue to risk my health and go to school right? So why not just shut down for awhile? =)
Its the hottest topic in school! Everywhere you walk or every class that you enter, everyone would be talking about the latest update. "OH! LATEST NEWS! ANOTHER 3 MORE CASES CONFIRMED IN BLOCK blah blah blah blah blah....ya da ya da ya da ya da...." Even the facilitators are talking about it! Now....when will the school be close...

Next on! Mr voice has been missing for a few days or should i say a week? There has been a build up of phlegm in my throat and I've been coughing and clearing it thus the lost of voice. So my speech is softer and slightly distorted. I sound like some old car that can't start up man, strepsils or herbal tea anyone?! =)

Michael Jackson is dead...how sudden can that be. Saw the news this morning and thought that it was just some lame email spamming around. But I went on to yahoo and the news was like wide smack on the front page. Oh well, 1 more talented guy gone..All hail the king of pop!

Last Saturday, Kuen, Fiona and I went down to MM - Mazda Motors for a little reception by the company! It is like appreciation high tea for their customers. And guess what! I test drive the mazda 2! Love that car to bits man! The car transmission was so smooth, the pickup was great and I love the leg room in the backseats! It isn't as cramp as the mazda 3! How amazing can that be man. I'll definitely buy it if I had the capital! No 2nd thoughts! =) Other than the mazda 2, we went to take a look at all the cars on display. The new 3 and 6, the facelift 5. Sadly the SUV CX-7 wasn't around on display. But to round it up, there are the sport cars, MX5 and RX8! The 5 is a beauty! And she only seats two! She's to die for!! The 8 looks funny with its new facelift and the backseats aren't suitable for tall adults. Okay, I'll let the pictures do the talking instead...toddles!! =)
Yours truely is gonna wait for dinner to arrive before preparing himself for John Loh's Twentie 1st birthday party!

Kuen and Fiona with the MX5

Fiona in the RX8

MX5 again.

Test drive Mazda 2!

2009-06-18T19:02:00.000+08:00

No, money don't just fall unto people's lap.
They were simply born with or without it.
The poor have to work their ass off for it,
while the rich simply spend it at the flick of their hand.
Things have been pretty sore of late,
the desires grow stronger,
but the ability is limited.

2009-06-14T21:19:00.000+08:00

I need to find something out of this life, I don't know why but I know I want to! I just wanna have a change for everything! Even the smallest bit of things in my life. I sound kinda crazy but yes I've been reading and looking and asking! I feel damn jealous about it, I envy their lives and I want it! I haven't been quite satisfied with myself lately, I dislike a lot of things and I'm becoming quite impatient with it. Like speed up time, rush through this final stage in poly, get out and done with the army, start building my own life! But I can't! I'm stuck to reality, how shitty can that be....
I wanna be in somewhere far, with a nice weather, a life that suits me, the source of happiness and satisfaction. I've so many places in mind and its seriously crazy to name them out. I wanna be in Taiwan, or somewhere in US preferably the north region, in Australia like Melbourne or Perth. Just somewhere!!! Dislike Sg's lifestyle, its too hectic and too demanding. Getting more ridiculous as the years go by.
I wanna do things and not be restricted. But its impossible judging from my current situation, its not something I can crawl out from unless big bang 2 happens.
School is a chore, bothersome and totally taxing! Freaking project that can never seem to work, a pathetic processor that doesn't have much understanding capability! Argh!!! Beats the hell out of me man.

And...I can continue ranting. Its never ending! Of late, I have not been satisfied with life! And here comes the new week of school! How interesting....

2009-06-08T22:33:00.000+08:00

Ever caught in a situation whereby you're stuck in situation and you don't have any money in your wallet to solve it? Like go out and you wanna pay for a certain thing but you don't have that much? or top up a cashcard just to get out of a place? - aiya, what i'm trying to say is, got wallet, got atm card but both no money? And you see certain things that others have and you feel envious? got right? Sure have...you're a liar if you say it didn't happen to you before!

So it leads to this question.

Have you ever wonder what would life be if you were rich and famous? With all the money at your finger tips, people noticing you like some super star. What would you do?

For me, with all that money, I would definitely wanna get a big house! start a business so that my money will never end, buy all the nice cars that I dream of owning, probably invest in an island or building. Of course, all the nice designer wear mustn't be forgotten! The money must grow and be use wisely if not I'll end up being a poor man overnight which is not what I want.

What about you?